What’s up, readers? How did the week treat you? Luckily, you can still use this weekend to perfect your furry costume. If I were going to Oklacon, I would totally go as a panda and then maul unsuspecting bystanders. But that’s just me. If you don’t plan on making a costume this weekend, I have a list of happy fun time activities waiting for you below! And even if you are going to Oklacon, you can probably take some time out of your furry schedule to go out and have some funsies.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
When “Achy Breaky Heart” came out, I was still young enough for the novelty to never wear off. It’s quite similar to the way that Home Alone and the song, “The Curly Shuffle” never got un-funny. You see, as a child during this time period, I was still possessing of that mild sort of autism that allows you to do the same inane things over and over again without it ever getting old, even when you memorize all the dialog in a Rainbow Brite movie. I think this is because kids generally don’t know what’s going on around them, and therefore don’t realize how uncool they are.
Now, I know Mr. Cyrus actually won some form of the Congressional Medal of Honor for entertainment. It was probably for line dancing. Also, he expertly used his daughter to springboard his own career again, which is unprecedented. Usually it’s the spawn riding the coattails. But I guess little Miley didn’t want anything to do “Achy Breaky Heart.” She really is the consummate artist.
I’m hoping the “over the top” on the poster for MANifesto refers to that awesome Stallone movie. If not though, this still promises to be a manly event. I imagine the door to MANifesto will have a huge sign, scrawled in the scratch of a boy, that proclaims “No girls allowed.” In my imagination, the “r” in girls is backwards and capitalized. Also, there will be wrestling and manscaping and a live mustache exhibit. There will be live professional wrestling, a book signing from the Art of Manliness guy, and food trucks and beer. What’s not to love?
If I had to guess, I would say that the OKC Beard Club will be there. I would say that the majority of these attendees would be hipster dudes in the their mid-twenties to mid-thirties. I would also say that this is the best place for a single lady to pick up a man for the weekend. I mean, seriously. Think about how many bearded man beasts will be in one concentrated area during this MANifesto (MANifiesta?). And from there, extrapolate your lady chances of getting hit on. If I were a betting woman, I’d say you sisters of mine are bound to get lucky.
So, you know when you’re going to Quail Springs Mall with your mom and then you hear a Taylor Swift song on the radio and you try not to cry because for some reason that gelfling has your number when it comes to emotions? You push it from your mind, because seriously, there is no way that you’re an emotionally stunted adult who can be brought to tears by the sincerest love wishes of a teenager. And when your mother asks, you just say you forgot to take your Clairitin and your eyes are watering, though, you can tell she knows.
So you carry on throughout your day, until in the fitting room at Dillard’s, you can hear the siren songs of the gelfing being piped in. You break down and sob like the baby you are because for some reason, there is something emotionally resonant about this song. Your mom knocks on the door and you tell her to leave you alone. She knows you well enough to know that this is no cause for alarm and emotional outbreaks for no reason are par for the proverbial course. Suddenly a thought strikes your mind. You remember Kanye jumping on the stage at the VMAs and this makes you laugh. The spell of that wicked gelfling harpy is broken and you are free to continue shopping, all blotchy-faced with your mom.
You know what I’m talking about? Don’t you hate it when that happens?
And that’s all I have for you kids. Be safe this weekend. And if I take to the Twitters and start complaining about going to a wedding that’s going on at the same time as the OU game, just tweet me back and remind me there’s an open bar.
“Friday Night in the Big Town” is presented by Lucky Star Casino. Visit LuckyStarCasino.org to check out a full calendar of their events and concerts.