Tony Hanadarko and I talked it over, readers, and we’ve decided that if we’re going to keep going to Lost Ogle trivia night, we’re going to have to set up a study group. Or, maybe drink less and pay attention to the questions more. Either way, we’ve got to do something. We totally got “pwned” last night by a team called “Release the Cracken.” Coincidentally, those smarty pants fellas on that team don’t strike me as the type to ever hear a woman use that phrase in the bedroom. Aw, snap! It doesn’t matter if you come in second if I make you look like a dork on teh webz!
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town!
There was a time, readers, when I had a very virginal roommate who was obsessed with the movie, Mamma Mia!, primarily, I assume, because she operated under the assumption that life was magical and falling in love was as simple as Pierce Brosnan shouting lyrics at Meryl Streep. Long story short, she blared that stupid soundtrack nearly everyday, and on my twenty-fourth birthday, I got rip-roaring drunk and apparently called her a Jesus Freak repeatedly until she took my drunk ass home. I don’t remember. No one knows for sure.
But what I do know is that ABBA brings out the worst in me. I can’t handle it. I want to like it, you know, so I can sing along with all the other women in the room who love it. But I can’t. So, if you’re the type of person who hears “Dancing Queen” and doesn’t fly into a fit of rage because there is something incredibly frustrating about the way the music sounds, then go support Waterloo, the top ABBA tribute band in the world at the OKC Philharmonic. If you see my old roommate, tell her I’m sorry I called her a Jesus Freak.
I know people that would say they’re “chocoholics,” but honestly, when it comes to candy, I don’t discriminate. I could be addicted to chocolate as easily as I could be addicted to Sour Patch Kids or the old strawberry Laffy Taffy that had the sugary sprinkles on top. (Where can I find those these days?) What I’m saying is, celebrating chocolate is cool and all, but I’m ready for a more inclusive candy festival.
Fun facts about the Chocolate Festival: It’s ranked third among food festivals in the United States by the Food Network, it’s been featured in Southern Living Magazine, and will feature treats from over 30 local businesses. I hear tell of a chocolate cinnamon roll. I once had a coworker tell me that my brain couldn’t tell the difference between food and sexual pleasure. I feel like the chocolate cinnamon roll could prove that former coworker right.
Back almost 20 years ago when I decided I was going to be a writer, my granny (yes, we called her “Granny”) bought me a copy of Grimm’s Fairytales, and I’m talking about the super bloody and scary ones. Those are the stories I like. Fast-forward to the present, and you will find me talking to my feminist friends about how detrimental the Disney Princess craze is while simultaneously critiquing that new show “Once Upon a Time” and various other revisionist approaches to the classic stories. Why? Because we’re pretentious, and there isn’t much else to do with multiple worthless degrees in English and Creative Writing.
Anyway, if you’re down with the whole princess thing and your kid is dying to hear Mickey, Minnie, and Donald tell the stories of said princesses, then this is for you. But remember to bring extra cash. Your kid is going to want to buy the t-shirt, the tiara, the flashlight wand thingy, and the princess dress—all because Disney is there to tell your kids great stories, not to prey upon their burgeoning sense of materialism or anything.
That’s it for this weekend, readers. Don’t drink and drive, por favor.
“Friday Night in the Big Town” is presented by Lucky Star Casino. Visit LuckyStarCasino.org to check out a full calendar of their events and concerts.