I hope you’re fully recovered from Saturday’s shenanigans and your pee no longer has a greenish tint to it. Allegedly, there was a girl who looked a lot like me, who was seen skipping around the Center of the Universe, downing car bombs at the Dust Bowl, and two-stepping to the cover band at Woody’s. That person was definitely not me. Well, unless you look like Jon Hamm and want to take that said person out to dinner. In that case, holla atchyo girl.
This is my first year without a spring break, but last weekend’s festivities certainly softened the blow. My last five years’ worth of trips to Panama City were memorable indeed, but there comes a time when one has to let go. I’ve traded in the trash can punch for vodka clubs, Sunday Fundays for Netflix marathons, my party shades for real Ray Bans, and the frat brothers for uh, graduated frat brethren. Unfortunately, my sentiments of growing up and moving on aren’t always reflected in other young professionals living in the greater Tulsa area. Today, I’d like to introduce you to Erin Queen. She’s a 27-year-old English teacher from Sand Springs who may or may not have been caught raping one of her students.
From the News on 6:
A 27-year-old Sand Springs teacher was arrested for first degree rape Saturday after she was found with a student at a Tulsa hotel.
According to an arrest report, Erin Kathleen Queen was taken into custody at the Candlewood Suites, 10008 E. 73rd Street, where she was found with a male student from one of her classes.
The student’s age was not released by Tulsa Police. Queen is employed at Charles Page High School.
She is listed as “English Queen” on her Facebook profile page.
The school system is currently on spring break.
What confuses me about stories like this is why people like Ms. Queen wouldn’t just do what everyone else does when they need to get laid:
go to Craigslist get drunk, go to the bar, and find another consenting adult. I mean, she looks normal enough. I’ve seen far less fortunate looking tricks do alright taco tossin’ on Brookside. A lady has her needs, but I highly doubt endangering a minor and destroying her life was really worth that slam session.
Another thing about these teacher/student affairs: how do they start in the first place? Did she leave dirty doodles on his spelling test? Did Ms. Queen ask him do a book report on the Kama Sutra? Did she make him stay after class to help her clap chalkboard erasers, then inform him that he’d be clapping something else altogether?
The best part about this news story is that they included her name on Facebook. Unfortunately though, after a compendiary search, I’ve had no luck locating this chick’s Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Zoosk account. My only supplementary source to this story is the oh-so reliable comments section. Here’s a few things I gathered:
• According to insiders (so probably the kid’s mom’s bunco friends) the student was 17, or the legal age of consent. So, correct me if I’m wrong, but that leads me to believe that the long arm of the law could do nothing if the kid was from another district.
• Ms. Queen has a husband. It’s probably safe to say that this really sucks for him.
• A lot of horny dudes hang out on the News on 6 message boards. But that’s not that surprising.
Is it just me, or do you think that charging Ms. Queen with first degree rape is a little extreme? She is lame and pathetic yes, and sure, she probably shouldn’t be allowed to teach school kids anymore. This kid is probably going to be traumatized to a degree after this debacle, and she should certainly be fired and in a significant amount of trouble for it. But first degree rape is what creepy moustached men who jump out of the bushes and thrown women into their vans are charged with. In many states, a first degree rape conviction warrants life in prison without the possibility of parole.
I’m assuming Ms. Queen didn’t hold the victim at gunpoint and force him into the hotel room with her. Second degree rape, lewd or lascivious acts with a minor, or blatant stupidity charges seem a bit more appropriate. But you know, that’s just me. Unless you saw me at Woody’s. That wasn’t me.
Follow Chelsea on Twitter at @xCawoodstock