Top o’ the Friday to you, my dear readers. The weekend is finally here, which means that you are free to have fun. And guess what? I just ordered an iPhone. It’s going to be my first smart phone ever. I don’t like to jump into technology, and I don’t know how long this internet business is going to last but why not? If you follow me on Twitter, get ready for all manner of drunken pictures of myself. (Not really, Mom. I care about my future and having a viable career and I know that it’s necessary to keep my internet reputation spotless.)
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Little known fact, readers: I’m a level-80 mage with a plus 7 sword and short-range magic ring. Not really. I have no idea what that means. My Arthurian Legends and Literature professor said that when I was in undergrad and it’s stuck with me ever since. I keep that phrase handy for this weekend every year when the grown adults dressed as knights and princesses overtake my city that is normally overrun with hipsters. This is the weekend we trade Urban Outfitters and American Apparel for homemade corsets and cloaks.
If you’re in need of weaponry for short-range combat, there is a dude there that sells swords. I don’t know if the regulations on swords are in anyway similar to the regulations on firearms, so you could probably just pay cash and walk away free and clear. Similarly, you can enjoy a turkey leg while you watch the undulating exposed cleavages of the middle-aged women pretending to be wenches. And then, you buy the root beer in the blue bottle that was supposedly brewed in the belly of a dragon, though I think the health department would frown on that.
Did the end of Project Runway All-Stars leave you with a great big gaping hole in your heart? Mondo is the best designer that has ever graced both Bravo and Lifetime networks. And now that he’s won and I don’t get to see him once a week, I don’t know what to do with myself. But I’m trying not to fret, because as Patrick reported yesterday, apparently Serge Ibaka has me covered. Ibaka is hosting a night of fashion and silent auctions to benefit Allied Arts.
Now, donating his time to a good cause is all well and good. I like my little Sergey, as I call him when I’m French-kissing my pillow for practice. Don’t tell my boyfriend, but I have a really elaborate fantasy where Serge and I drink beer buckets and eat cheese fries. His abs make me think that he doesn’t indulge in carbs very often, but I’ll let him know that it’s okay just this once. And then we snuggle on the couch while we watch a Downton Abbey marathon (he absolutely loves the Anna and Mr. Bates storyline). What do you say, Serge? You feeling charitable?
Tonight there is gonna be some music in Norman town, y’all. Just take yourself on down Main Stree, turn left on Crawford and then park in that free parking lot. You know it’s a good time when you get to go to the Opolis, and you can wander around Main Street after the show and duck into Bill and Dee’s or The Abner Ale House for some boozey schmoozing. Also, this may be irrelevant, but the only time I’ve seen someone get tazed in real life was on Main Street. Do with that knowledge what you will.
Tonight Deerpeople, The Nghiems, and People, People will be playing. And if you were planning to write a thesis on how bands from Stillwater have the word “people” in their names, this may be a good time to do some research. I don’t know why you’d write a thesis on that, but I once wrote a paper in Spanish on how to make the perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There is a niche for everything.
That’s it for this week, readers. Don’t drink too much during the noon Thunder game on Sunday. Or if you do, make sure you cut it off by three. Irresponsible Sundays make for hella terrible responsible Mondays.
“Friday Night in the Big Town” is presented by Lucky Star Casino. Visit LuckyStarCasino.org to check out a full calendar of their events and concerts.