Mailbag: Chelsea and Nick Collison’s Uneducated Great Escape

I have a confession. I like Big Brother. Now before you judge or criticize me or say you’re never reading this site again, let me explain that I haven’t always been a fan. I didn’t start watching the show until Season 10 when Dan took home first place. So in a way, it’s still kind of new to me. It’s like I’m on Season 4. Therefore, it’s totally fine that I watch the show. Or at least that’s what I tell myself each night as I cry myself to sleep.

But here is what is not okay. I currently have a free trial of all the cable premium channels. One of them, Showtime 2, airs Big Brother After Dark each night from 11pm – 2am. The program is an uncensored and unedited live feed of the house, and in all honesty, is pretty boring. It just shows the house guests talking or eating or playing pool or whatever. For some reason, I’ve found myself watching this mindless trash each night over the past week. Is this behavior normal? Does anyone else do this? Should I be alarmed and schedule an appointment with a doctor? Please advise, Moles.

Anyway, one thing that is normal is eating at the new restaurant Flint in downtown. They are giving a $25 gift card to whoever sent us the best email this week. You can read those emails, the responses to them that may have been written while watching Big Brother After Dark, and vote for your favorite after the jump.

Mark writes:

So I was watching News 9 at 5 and they just did a story over the 2013 Ford Escape recall because of gas line fires. Then right after, they ran a promo for their News 9 Great Escape contest, with the grand prize being a 2013 Ford Escape.

Ha! I guess that’s the risk you take when you sell your soul to advertisers and/or Ford. Maybe next time News 9 should give away a 2013 Volkswagen Tiguan instead. It provides the perfect amount of space, comfort and power, all complemented by a gorgeous, redesigned exterior. I’m especially fond of the SEL model. With its premium leather seating and a 300-watt sound premium system, it’s been engineered to add some serious fun to every drive. Plus, you don’t have to worry about it bursting into flames.

Chris writes:

I would love to see a massive campaign to try and hook up Chelsea and Nick Collison. What could be better than having a Thunder player as an Ogle Mole?  I think we should get all the readers to write letters to Nick, or perhaps stage a rally in Bricktown.  Or just have Chelsea take some boudoir photos.  Whatever it takes.

Yeah, so this is kind of funny. Last Friday, Spencer went to a wedding that took place at Nick Collison’s house. Knowing that Chelsea is in love with Mr. Collison, Spencer asked Chelsea via Twitter if she wanted him to take any pictures. I noticed Spencer’s tweet, thought he was joking around, and then I started pretending that I was there, too. Next thing I know, I get a text from Spencer saying that he heard that Nick Collison, who was out of town,  saw our tweets, was pissed that we were talking about his house, and texted to the property manager to watch us or something like that.

Anyway, that is totally cool, because it means either Nick Collison is following us with a secret Twitter account, or Royce Young with Daily Thunder has turned into a NARC and is snitching on us to Nick Collison. Damn you, Royce!

And yeah, we should hook up Chelsea with Nick or the guitar player from Limp Bizkit that would wear those creepy black contact lenses. They kind of look the same to me.

Dale writes:

Did I miss it, or have you yet to comment on the bird poop controversy at the bombing memorial downtown?  I actually decided to delete a facebook friend after she posted something about how the poor birds are being mistreated, followed by two dozen or so bleeding heart comments from fellow bird lovers.  I really don’t hate birds, but I don’t have any problem with encouraging them to take their feces elsewhere. I suggest we dress Steve Lackmeyer up as a scarecrow and hang him in one of the trees.

I considered writing about that story, but that would have required typing things on my keyboard about bird poop. That’s a pretty disgusting topic, and outside of references to dressing up Steve Lackmeyer as a scarecrow, there’s really nothing you can say to make it funny or mildly entertaining.

Travis writes:

Just flipped through one of MSN’s lists of poorest counties in America. (who doesn’t love lists?)

For Oklahoma it was Okfuskee, but that wasn’t the disturbing part. What disturbed me was this line:
“Only 11% of residents in Okfuskee have college degrees, compared to the 23% in Oklahoma as a whole.” Really?  Not even 1/4 of our state has higher education?

Two things.

1. I’m actually surprised that 11% of the residents in Okfuskee County have college degrees. I assumed it would be lower. These are the major towns in Okfuskee County: Okemah, Weleektah, Castle and Bearden. I bet the 11% of residents with degrees who still live there are either teachers, farmers or retired chemists making meth.

2. Our state’s 23% college graduate rate seems normal. The national average is a tad above 30%, so we’re only seven percentage points behind. And you have to admit, we do have an extra amount of stupid in our state. And not the stupid that more education funding or teachers can really fix or cure. It’s like the Idiocracy type of stupid. If you need proof, just look at the 2008 election results.

Heath writes:

Please tell me Channel 5 is going to attempt to steal Emily Sutton to replace Rick Mitchell.

That would be amazing, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. I have a feeling Channel 5 is going to go out-of market to find a new chief meteorologist. They’ve never really promoted from within and I bet the Emily Suttons, Michael Armstrongs, and Jed Castles are still under contract. Plus, I’m not sure any of those people would want to work for Channel 5. I’ve heard the news director there has a bad reputation around town. Expect Rick Mitchell to be replaced with some boring Paul Folger or Bob Irzyk type of hire.

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