For all your underage drinking needs, see Bootlegger Willie

Mom, I know you’re reading this, and I want you to close this tab on your computer and forget that today is Wednesday and that I have a post on The Lost Ogle.

Well, readers, now that my mom is gone, I want to talk to you about the sacred institution that is underage drinking. Not only did I partake in this pastime, but I like to think that I was a bit of a professional. You see, when my friend Samantha’s older brother wasn’t buying our booze for us (the standard order being a six-pack of Coronas and a bottle of Captain Morgan), we were a bit more enterprising. And thanks to the fine fellas of the UCO Alpha Tau Omega house, we never went without.

But what do you do if you don’t have a friend with an older sibling or an overly developed friend for whom the frat boys would do anything? I suppose you talk to “Bootlegger Willie”, or at least that’s what the kids down in Chickasha were doing until Bootlegger Willie was arrested for selling to minors.

According to the story on KFOR.com:

Grady County Sheriff Art Kell said, “This guy was buying alcohol from liquor stores, taking it to his house and selling it to anybody who would come up there. That’s why they call him the bootlegger.”

“Bootlegger Willie” to locals is really 84-year-old Lawrence Hayden.

The sheriff said his “operation” was a well-kept secret for years.

The sheriff was patrolling the Grady County Fairgrounds recently when he came upon a group of teens who were clearly intoxicated.

One of the kids was so drunk he nearly fell out of the car.

The sheriff told them, go to jail, or cooperate.

“They told me about this guy named ‘Bootlegger,’” Kell said. “I said, ‘Who’s this bootlegger?’ He’s been selling alcohol to anyone who wants it.”

Using an 18-year-old informant, the Grady County Sheriff launched a sting.

He sent the teen in with a marked $20.

The young man returned with an 80-proof bottle of Sunny Brook Kentucky Blended Whiskey.

The alleged bootlegger was arrested for selling to a minor.

It’s probably a good thing that they didn’t release the name of the 18-year old informant, because that kid would totally be getting his ass kicked outside the field house after school. And if it was so boring growing up in Edmond that we spent so much time drinking (even our cheerleaders got suspended for drinking vodka and taking Valium in the bathroom during a basketball game to numb the pain that is Edmond), I can only imagine how bad it is in Chickasha. At least Edmond kids can escape to Oklahoma City on Friday nights and hang out with 25-year old men with tattoos who play in bands. Where can the Chickasha kids go when they want to pretend to be tougher than they are?

Also, can I just take a moment to commend Bootlegger Willie? Though he didn’t technically earn his title by bootlegging (but I bet he’s old enough to maybe remember making a still back in the day), he is a prime example of a successful small business. He saw a demand in the market, and he took advantage. In this economy, fortune truly favors the bold, and the bold sell $8 bottles of crappy whiskey to teenagers for $20.