It’s about frackin’ time! Voting for our 2012 Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest begins today with the first of our two semi-final rounds. I was going to post these last week, but Gary England Day got in our way. Sorry.
Anyway, before we get to the photos, let me quickly explain how this works:
• We will post 20 photos for the semi-finals. 10 are being posted today. 10 more
will be posted tomorrow can be found here. You can vote for up to three photographs in each group. The three pics from each group that receive the most votes will advance to next week’s finals.
That’s it. Here are the first 10 semi-finalists:
I’ll bet you $20 that this guy, his baby’s mama, or the person he’s about to fight all live in an apartment complex in Midwest City. I’ll also bet you he has a lips tattoo on the other side of his neck and has either bought or stolen jewelry from Wal-Mart.
Just What the Doctor Ordered…
The scary part about this photo isn’t the person two-fisting Frito chili pies on a cold night at the State Fair of Oklahoma. It’s the scary Tarantula monster that served them to her. Who knew that Shelob — that’s the spider that nearly ate Frodo, for all you non-nerds out there — liked Dr. Pepper so much.
According to the person who sent this photo, he and his family were sitting in the bleachers for about 15 minutes waiting for the children’s fire safety show to start. When it finally did, this life raft of a woman and her son walked to the very front and stood there for the entire show. They were allowed to do this because the child had that frightening mohawk and people were scared to confront her. In other news, people who make their kids watch fire safety shows at the State Fair are pussies and cowards.
The Fair Gentleman
For a rascal scooter photograph to make our State Fair contest, it has to have some additional element to make it special. You know, like riding around in a scooter while some lady wearing an elastic knee brace walks around getting you food. Or at least I think that’s a knee brace. It could also be a jeans style that was cool 15 years ago. I can’t remember.
Crimson and Scream
Yeah, when your legs looks a like some sort of Photoshop sand background pattern, it may be a sign that you need to wear more clothes. Also, is anyone slightly disturbed that she’s checking out the backseat of the car? That’s grosser than an old woman’s bare midriff.
Mr. Snaky McMuttonchop
“Siri, what kind of dipshit tucks in a button-up shirt at a State Fair, crams a stuffed snake in his pants and then pays $6 for a bottle of Dasani? Oh, right. Me. I forgot.”
The Butch Shocker
If I was the illegitimate love child of Emilio Estevez and Chloë Sevigny, I’d probably walk around the State Fair of Oklahoma in a shocker t-shirt, too. I’d also stare people down like I wanted to eat them.
I hope those are turkey legs…
I’m not sure why I liked this picture. It could be that I wanted to throw Clark Matthews a bone and post a picture of an Asian girl with a painted on mustache, or it could be that I wanted to prove that the State Fair of Oklahoma attracts people from all over the world, including ones who live near Classen Boulevard.
Beauty and the Corn Dog
Here’s the email that accompanied this photo:
Wanted to share with you a lady we encountered at the fair this weekend. She may have been the drunkest person in the state of Oklahoma and was laying on this stage yelling:
“Jeff!!!!! Corn dog!!!!!!”
Then Jeff came with a corn dog and then quickly left. She then kept yelling:
Between each bite.
Know what would be funny? What if Jeff roofied her corn dog? I know he didn’t have to or anything, but it would be funny. That’s all I’m saying.
If we had a sub-contest for “Scariest State Fair Photo Contest,” this one would win hands down. That guy looks like the White Walker leader from last season’s finale of Game of Thrones. I think when he looks in your eyes he steals a piece of your soul. And when you stare at that lady’s belly, she steals a slice of cornbread. It’s a never-ending cycle, really.
Anyway, vote for your THREE favorite photos.
>>>>>>> Update: CLICK HERE to view and vote for the other group of semi-finalists in our 2012 state fair photo contest.Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.