MMT: Channel 25 now has it’s very own Condom Star

Hello again, people of the internet. It’s another Monday, which means it’s time for Monday Morning Tweets, the recurring feature that 4 out of 5 dentists say has “no affect whatsoever” on oral health. If that’s not enough to get you to read this post, I don’t know what is. Maybe if I tell you there are pictures of beautiful naked people included.* Well, guess what? There are.**

This week’s tweets and the pictures of beautiful naked people are after the jump.***

*There are no pictures of beautiful naked people included.

**There aren’t.

***No, really. There are no beautiful naked people in this post.

Mike Brooks (@MikeBrooksOKC)

Oh, Priscilla Luong! Why would anyone correct him on this? I would have let Mike “Condom Star” Brooks continue on singing that as long as possible.

Meg Alexander (@newsmommy)

So I do not like roller coasters. At all. I get no pleasure, just fear, from them. A few years back, my then-girlfriend and her friends dragged me to Disney World. There, they wanted to ride the roller coaster “Space Mountain.” Needless to say I’d rather die in a fiery roller coaster crash than admit to a girl my emasculating fear of roller coasters, so I put on a brave face and got in line. The line was long, and winded around what looked like the roller coaster control center. I can’t find a picture of it on the web, but it was like raised circular room, with various serious looking people in uniforms sitting in front of computers. All of the sudden I notice one of the guys is sitting at the computer with his head back. I take a closer look, and this dude is sleeping! He is out cold. Now, logically I know that these roller coasters have all sorts of brakes and failsafes and whatnots and these guys at the computers probably weren’t actually doing anything that had anything to do with the roller coaster, but you know how the mind works. I managed to convince myself that the sleeping guy was going to be responsible for this thing flying off the tracks with me in it. The line took forever, it seemed like an hour, and as much as I tried to will the guy to wake up, he just kept on sleeping! He could have been dead, for all I know. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so nervous in my life as I stepped into the cart and white-knucked it.

As any rational person would expect, everything went fine and I lived to tell this embarrassing story about it.

Andrew Speno (@AndrewSpeno)

It’s been a rough week in the Speno household, y’all. Thanks to the wonders of Twitter, we can all follow along. How will the great toilet saga of 2012 end?! Hopefully we’ll find out the exciting conclusion this week.

Dave Morris (@_davemorris)

This is a new one. Usually it’s skyline shots, food, or beautiful scenery that people tweet whenever they want you to know that their life is great and we should all be jealous. Kudos to Dave Morris for cornering the “ugly construction eyesore” Instagram market.

Abigail Ogle (@AbigailOgle)

Okay, so remember that movie Swingers that popularized this saying? I used to LOVE that movie. I probably watched it fifty times during the 90’s. I would make all my friends watch it. It was one of my favorites. It came on television the other day. Good loooooord, did that movie age badly. It’s just a shockingly skinny Vince Vaughn walking around telling his insufferable sadsack friend that he’s “money” over and over again. Everything about that movie, from the dialogue to the swing dancing to Jon Favreau’s acting career is just unbelievably dated. I mean, just watch this scene (NSFW language). What the hell was I thinking liking this movie at one point?

The Jim Traber Loves Exclamation Points Tweet Of The Week!!!!! (@jimtraber)

Finally, it looks like Jim is open to getting the help we all know he so dearly needs.

The Dean Blevins Memorial Weekly Tweet From Dean Blevins (@deanblevins)

I have no idea what this means or why Deano is in search of this, but I hope that he finds his white whale. Godspeed, Deano.

That’s all for this week. Follow me on Twitter here. Good bye!