Proving there really is a blog for everything, I recently stumbled across a website called The Greatest 21 Days. The site focuses on minor league baseball cards, and more specifically, “1990 CMC and Pro Cards minor league baseball card sets, and what happened to each of the players it contained.” And no, I’m not making that up.
Anyway, I found the site when performing a basic Google blog search for “Oklahoma City.” Back in October, they profiled the 1990 Oklahoma City 89ers. Here are a couple of notable players from the team:
I know that baseball is not the most popular sport in Oklahoma, but for the millennials out there, Juan Gonzalez was one of the great run producers of the 1990s. A Texas Ranger great, he won two MVP awards, smashed 434 home runs, and not surprisingly, was accused of injecting a lot of steroids into his mustache.
Spending most of his MLB career as a weak hitting journeyman, Ron Washington is the current skipper for the Texas Rangers. As their manager, he’s led the franchise to three America League West titles, several epic World Series collapses, and has snorted a bunch of cocaine with his mustache.
Okay, I’ve never heard of this guy, but doesn’t he kind of look like Tulsa World OU Beat Writer John Hoover with a mustache?
Seriously, are they related? Do they know each other? Is John Hoover a Highlander? Who knows.
Anyway, this whole thing got me thinking, can we get rid of the Redhawks and bring back the Oklahoma City 89ers? I know I’m partial to 1980’s pop culture and nostalgia, but who wouldn’t want this change? Just look at the mascots. Currently, we have a couple of inbred mouthbreathers named Cooper and Ruby. They replaced Rowdy the Redhawk who died in a freak drowning accident in the Bricktown Canal:
Compare those Oh-Facers to the 89ers most notable mascots, Robo Niner and Abner 89er:
It’s not even close, is it? The 89ers mascots are much better. And just look at the logos. Those 89er icons screamed low-budget, 1980s minor league baseball. The current Redhawks logo screams “COCK!”
Finally, the name 89er is 89-times better than Redhawk. I’ve lived in Oklahoma my entire life and have never seen a redhawk. Granted, I haven’t seen an 89er either, but at least I dressed up as one for an 89er Day parade in the 5th grade.
Hopefully someone at the Redhawks who is smart reads this and brings up the idea in a meeting. At the very least, have an 89ers throwback day next season with old uniforms, mascots and the WKY Diamond Girls:
While they’re at it, bring back 1980s beer prices, too.