New exhibits for the museum formerly known as the Omniplex

science-museum-oklahoma

As a kid at John Ross Elementary, I loved fieldtrip days. My mom packed me a sack lunch and signed the permission forms, and off I went to the zoo, Enterprise Square, Harn Homestead, or everyone’s absolute favorite—the Omniplex! Yeah, I know it has a new name. But a lot of my childhood has already been ruined so I don’t need some rebranding scheme to change all the happiness I remember.

According to NewsOK.com, The Omniplex not Science Museum Oklahoma is planning a 21,000-square-foot expansion. That’s a lot of space in the name of science. And while I hope and pray that the new space is used to build a giant molecule-shaped jungle gym, I’m sure they have other plans. According to the report:

The expansion will be funded through a $12 million grant from the Donald W. Reynolds Foundation. Museum officials said they expect the project to be complete in 2015.

Don Otto, the museum’s executive director, said the children’s hall will be a museum within a museum — at 21,000 square feet, it will rival most free-standing children’s museums in the country, he said.

The hall will be geared toward children ages 3-6, he said, but it will include activities that will interest older children, as well as their parents.

It will be designed as a community, where homes, businesses and other areas will show certain aspects of science, Otto said. That format creates an environment that would feel familiar to younger children but still would be unlike anything they’ve seen.

So, basically, this new expansion would put a children’s science museum inside a children’s science museum. This makes me think that the directors are big fans of Inception but couldn’t find a legal way to get parental permission to invade the dreams of sleeping children. Which is fine because there is still plenty of fun to be had at the Omniplex not Science Museum Oklahoma. Remember all the cool things you used to do as a kid in the Omniplex, like fall asleep in the planetarium or make it look like you had a really huge penis when you stood in front of that shadow wall thing when the light flashed? That was the best.

All this got me to thinking. There are other aspects to science, and I think we need address them in the new addition the museum plans to add. While the plan seems to be to put historical science figures together, like Edison and Newtown, that just seems silly. They weren’t contemporaries! That’s why I’ve created a list of our ideas for new exhibits:

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How guns work

With all the controversy surrounding gun ownership, I have several friends on Facebook that find it necessary to post at least once a day all about guns, how they work, and just what the definition of an assault rifle is. This exhibit would prevent kids from needing to do just that as an adult, because it would teach them that automatic weapons were a God-given right, and what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they envisioned the Right to Bear Arms.

Sperm-egg

Where babies come from

We aren’t big on sex ed or learning reproductive health in the state of Oklahoma. That’s why the Omniplex not Science Museum would be a great place to teach kids about the birds and the bees. Can you imagine how awesome a jumbo-sized sperm and egg situation would be. Also, I’m sure that there are those who would like a space to scientifically prove that life starts when one cell hits another.

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How Satan put the dinosaur bones in the ground to make us doubt God

I have some friends who went to Oklahoma Christian. I used to think they were viable human beings. Then they posted on Facebook that dinosaurs weren’t real because Satan just put the bones in the dirt to make us doubt God. While I question the logic of this, and just where exactly Satan go the dinosaur bones that would make people think the Earth was older than it is, this exhibit would enlighten me.

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Meth cooking

All too often we look at petroleum engineering as one of the most important science professions in the state. And while it probably is, I know a few addicts that would bed to differ. The best part about this exhibit would be that kids could recreate it at home. The Omniplex not Science Museum could show them what chemicals their parents keep under the sink and just what they need to do to create the crystal darkness.