It’s finally Friday, again, readers, which means we are at yet another weekend. I know how you enjoy your weekends. And I’ve got a list of things for you to do so that you’re guaranteed not to get stuck in the house doing chores all day because that would just be awful. Plus, I hear tell that the weather is going to warm up a little bit. Won’t that be nice? And, since it’s officially been one month since New Year’s Day, that means you can finally go off that lame diet that didn’t allow you to drink beer or eat cheese fries. Trust, your friends are tired of you ordering a house salad and vodka soda when you all go out.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town!
The majority of my life has been spent not getting invited to all the cool parties. Or, sometimes I do get invited to those parties but then I have to work because I have a job that does not recognize my need to party. Either way, I’m chronically left out. Which is totally fine because I didn’t want to go the cool kid parties anyway. But the best thing to come out of not being invited to the cool kid parties is when you make your own party and it’s way better than anything those lame-o cool kids could ever think up.
Case in point: The Unspoken Ball. Chances are you didn’t get invited to the Speaker’s Ball because you don’t know the right people nor can you afford to pay off the necessary parties to get in. But Representative Joe Dorman has you covered. Meet him tonight at JJ’s Saloon for local music and tasty drinks. All the proceeds that don’t go to cover the cost of the bands and the bar will go directly to Oklahoma programs benefiting people with autism. There’s also going to be an auction where some sweet TLO swag will go to the right bidder.
If you had a vagina in the nineties, then you were way into Rob Thomas. And why wouldn’t you be? He’s so handsome, and I love his hair. In fact, I’m having impure thoughts right now as I type this. You probably bought way too many magazines with him on the cover and even got into that Santana record where he sang “Smooth.” And that’s just fine because look at him. Just look at him. And did you know that he was actually part of a band and not just a good looking guy for you to leer at?
Though the Matchbox Twenty show is now sold out, I’m sure you can get in if you’re persistent or cagey enough. It’s the second best reason to head down to Thackerville (the first being that you can go to DW’s right over the border and stock up on necessary supplies) this evening. And who knows? Maybe if you’re lucky all your dreams from the nineties will totally come true. Though, I was pretty young when this band was popular, so my dreams involved making out and then going to Quail Springs Mall with Rob Thomas where all the popular Laurens who went to Sequoyah Middle School got super jealous of how cool I was. Please, Rob, make my dreams come true!
Readers, let’s be real. Do you have people in your life that are all of the sudden obsessed with running like it’s a fun activity and not the worst thing in the world? I know a bunch of people that totally used to be fatties like me that are now all into running marathons and whatnot. They spend more money on running shoes these days than they do on beer. What the hell is wrong with my generation? In my day, running was a punishment you endured. Remember when you talked back to all your coaches and had to run laps? That was the worst! Why the hell would I ever recreate that pain?
If you don’t share the same views as I do on the subject of running, then you’re in luck. You can head out to RT 66 Park at Lake Overholser and run an 8K. I don’t know how many miles that is beause the namby pamby runners of the world don’t have the common decency to convert that for us, like we’re some sort of Euro trash or something. I don’t even know what the world is coming to. So if you have nothing better to do on Saturday morning, like sleep in, you can get up early and physically exert yourself for all those kilometers. Like some sort of weirdo.
That’s all for this week, readers. Remember that OHP is cracking down on you knuckle heads who don’t wear a seatbelt, and you should probably not drink and drive as well.
“Friday Night in the Big Town” is presented by Lucky Star Casino. Visit LuckyStarCasino.org to check out a full calendar of their events and concerts.