Here’s the greatest punk song about Gary England you’ll ever hear in your life…

cardboard jim gary england day stop sign

Due to our (what some people claim as “odd”) fascination with Gary England, you would assume that we’d have a Google alert set up for each time someone thinks about the guy, much less writes about him. Well, we do. And the all-knowing Google failed us.

Check out the song “Master Newscaster” performed by some local punk band called Limp Wizurdz. The track is short, sweet and maxi-wedge grinder awesome. The tune was released in March 2012. That probably explains the now dated “Rick Mitchell Is Full Of Shit” lyric. I have no clue why we’re just now hearing it. Check it out:

Well, I guess we know what music I’m going to listen to during this season’s first tornado outbreak. Also, instead of using the three long beeps to alert us to a live severe weather cut in, they should just use the opening guitar riff from this song.

Gary England wasn’t the only News 9 personality to get a tribute song by the Lim Wizurdz. Check out this now so flattering song they wrote about Kelly Ogle:

In case you couldn’t understand what they said, here are the lyrics:

I don’t need your english dick 
Or your degree in fuck 
Gary England would kick your ass 
if you had a boxing match 

Nobody gives a flying fuck about your two cents 

Walk up with your noodle hair 
Everyone knows your full of shit 
you don’t need a degree in cock 
to tell that you’re full of shit

I’d give two-cents to hear Kelly Ogle talk about this song… or his noodle hair. One of the two.

Anyway, Limp Wizurdz isn’t the only band to write a song about local news personalities. Here are some others:

The first, and perhaps most popular, is Hosty’s Linda Cavanaugh song:

In this song Ali Harter mentions Mike Morgan’s Bedazzled Tie and the Gary England Drinking Game:

This band didn’t sing about Gary England, but their singer wore a Gary England t-shirt.

And of course, who could forget Nat Eastham’s classic “Little Bit of Jo Jo.” Rumor has it that Joleen’s fiance played this tune when he reenacted the Say Anything boombox scene for her. Bastard!