We have some sad news to report. Abigail Ogle went to the zoo yesterday and was nearly eaten by a lion.
Here’s the exclusive video:
Okay, so that’s not Abigail Ogle. It’s just some annoying baby named Abigail. Normally, I’d feel guilty about writing such a misleading headline for a dated video, but considering you were probably more concerned about the safety and welfare of the lion than Abigail, I’d say you deserve it.
Seriously, if your life depended on one media girl defeating a Lion in a gladiator style steel cage death match, wouldn’t you pick Abigail? She’d either charm it with her Ogle beauty or kill it with her Viking strength and dexterity (along with the help of her dad’s hammer).
Also, does anyone else think the glass at the Oklahoma City Zoo lion exhibit is a little too strong? They need to fix that stuff and make it thinner. What’s the fun of going to the zoo if there isn’t any danger?