Pretty soon, the weird lady who lives next door can legally sell you her pumpkin bread…


Food service, readers. Is there a better business? Not only do you create and serve food to sustain the masses, but you make money in the process. As someone who formerly worked in restaurants, and as someone who currently spends a lot of time eating at restaurants, I’m a fan of the food service industry. I think it’s important for me to let everyone know that when it comes to bakeries, I am absolutely in love.

Much like Shakira, my hips don’t lie, and these hips will tell you all about the chocolate cake, the cupcakes with butter cream icing, and all those delightful and buttery shortbread cookies that I’ve consumed in the past week. (Yeah, I said week. I know it’s only Wednesday, and when you take into account that I’ve had the flu and pretty much didn’t eat at all on Tuesday, it’s pretty impressive how many baked goods I’ve been able to down so far. You say gluttony, I say accomplishment.) However, my sugar consuming may be coming to a halt soon. The governor has basically signed a law that let’s little old lady hoarders bake bugs into cookies and then sell them.

According to

Fallin signed the Home Bakery Act on Monday. The Oklahoma House approved the legislation without opposition in March. The state Senate passed the bill last week.

The measure allows home food establishments that earn less than $20,000 a year and produce baked goods for sale that do not contain meat or fresh fruit to operate without a food preparation license.

The bill’s author, state Rep. Dustin Roberts of Durant, says small home baking operations do not need to follow the same rigorous standards as commercial kitchens and other food establishments that serve foods that might be highly harmful to the public.

They are really going to let people bake bundt cakes in their sketchy-ass houses and sell them? That’s going to end well. I know how low health department standards are and just what they’ll take as “clean.” (Can I get a witness as to the worthlessness of the Cleveland County food handler’s card?) The “rigorous standards” we hold commercial kitchens to are totally attainable if you have a dishwasher and a bottle of 409 under your sink.

I can see how this may potentially facilitate a lot of bake sells or cake walks in the future, but I worked in food service too long to think this is a good idea. Of course, I could be making a mountain out of a molehill. I have a tendency to do that, and this tendency is probably the number one reason why Patrick keeps me on staff. But I’ve also seen enough episodes of Hoarders to know that this can only end in heartache.