How are things, readers? Do you have the springtime restlessness where you just want to be outside all day but can’t because you have a job that totally doesn’t understand how much you love the sun? Have you consumed enough allergy medicine in the past month for your innards to legally be considered a meth lab? Do you need a vacation but lack the funds as well as the PTO to do so? Well, the things I’m about to suggest to you won’t make you less restless, less allergic, or more vacation-ready. All I’m offering are some momentary distractions as you make your slow descent through life.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
If there’s one thing I know about money, it’s that I can’t fid a job that will give me as much of it as I want. Granted, I do believe my skills of staring off into space and spending unprecedented amounts of time in the break room adding more hot chocolate powder to my office coffee should get me roughly $400k a year, but most corporations disagree. I try to remember that in the grand scheme of things, I have it easy. But then my internet service provider raises my bill by $3 and I feel like I may as well be in the Great Depression.
Well, there are those who seem to have a handle on wealth and probably don’t spend a good 20% of their income on craft beer and slightly distressed deep v-neck shirts. These are people with savings accounts and Roth IRAs and 401ks and investment properties. They also seem to have a pyramid scheme. And you can join it this weekend. So yeah.
Have you heard the Turnpike Troubadours, readers? If not, what the hell have you been doing? This is basically the equivalent of not doing your homework all semester and then being surprised when you fail the class. Seriously, get on this. You’ll love it. Side note: the guitarist in the band is the older brother of my boyfriend’s cousin’s very good friend, a friend with whom I once went to Puerto Rico. So there.
Anyway, get your tickets and head on out to Concho. You may need to grow out your beard or polish up your prospector suspenders for the occasion, though even if you don’t do either of these things, they’ll still let you in the show and you’ll still have a good time. I just think that there aren’t enough people who go to casinos looking like a character from Deadwood.
May 12: Mother’s Day brunch
Your mom loves you, even though she shouldn’t. I mean, you’re reading this blog, so, judging by the in-depth market research we’ve done at TLO headquarters, you have made several bad decisions throughout the years that your poor mother has had to witness. Also, she worries about you because she knows how much you drink and that you are not eating right, and even though she bought you that bottle of vitamins, she knows you aren’t taking them. Also, would it kill you to get at least 6 hours of sleep a night?
This Sunday is the one day a year where you have to be all like “sorry I suck, Mom, here’s a card for you.” Bonus points if you get your mom a thoughtful gift, you know, one that wasn’t some last-minute idea that was featured in one of the 8 million Mom-centric Groupon emails sent out this week. So, go take your mom out to brunch, and tell her The Lost Ogle says thanks for last night. (OH YEAH MOM JOKE!)
That’s it for this weekend. Don’t drink and drive and I love you.
“Friday Night in the Big Town” is presented by Lucky Star Casino. Visit LuckyStarCasino.org to check out a full calendar of their events and concerts.