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Mary Fallin and other Oklahoma elected officials still hate gay people…

1:27 PM EDT on June 27, 2013

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As you surely know by now, yesterday was a historic and amazing day for the LGBT community and supporters of equal rights from all across our country. Here are a couple of things that I took away from the Supreme Court's decision regarding DOMA and Proposition 8.

1. The Judicial Branch is still awesome. When you look back at the history of our country, the judicial branch always seems to be the first to protect the rights of the few over the ignorance of the masses. Thanks activist judges!

2. Oklahoma politicians still hate gay people. "Hate" may seem like a strong word choice to some, but I don't think it's off-base. In my book, if you want to deny equal rights and protections to an entire group of law-abiding citizens just because they have a different lifestyle or set of beliefs than you, then I think it's safe to say that you hate those people. Of course, some people would say "Yeah, but I have gay friends. Just because I feel marriage should be between a man and women doesn't mean I hate them." Well, actually it does. It just means you're also a hypocrite.

After the Supreme Court decision was announced, Oklahoma officials responded with carefully worded statements that tried to justify their intolerance and frame their bigotry in a positive light. Here's what the twice-married Governor Mary Fallin had to say about the topic:

“When given the opportunity to vote on the issue (in 2004), seventy-five percent of Oklahoma voters supported a constitutional amendment declaring that ‘marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.’ Like the vast majority of Oklahomans, I support traditional marriage. I do not and will not support expanding the definition of marriage to include same-sex couples.”

Yeah, nine years ago Oklahoma voters overwhelmingly supported a shameful amendment that discriminates against gay people. So what? Never underestimate the stupidity of people in large groups. I bet at one time 75% of Oklahomans supported segregated schools or the poll tax, too. It's not like Oklahoma voters have the best track record on things. Hell, 60% of them voted for Fallin in 2010. We're not exactly the brightest lot.

In addition to that, Fallin's statement totally ignores how rapidly public opinion on gay marriage has changed. That's one of the transcending parts of this whole movement. Back in 2004, gay marriage wasn't legal in any state. Now same-sex couples can shackle their lives and wed in 12 states. According to a 2012 poll by the Pew Research Center, only 56% of Oklahomans oppose gay marriage, while 35% support it. No matter how you slice and dice or vape it, that 75% is misleading. Hiding behind that stat is as pathetic as denying access to open records or traveling around the world on the state's dime.

Unfortunately, Mary Fallin isn't the only Oklahoma politician who made an asinine comment. Check out this hysterical statement by Tom Coburn:

“In its ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act, I’m disappointed the Supreme Court made a decision that overrides the clear intent of two branches of government.  With this decision, five judges have violated the freedom of conscience of millions of Americans.  Regardless of what people believe about this issue, it should be resolved by We the People, not the Courts.  Our nation was fully capable of resolving this issue without the Court’s cultural and moral commentary.  By taking sides in this debate, the Supreme Court has discouraged any American who believes marriage is a union between one man and one woman from legislating – and even thinking – differently from the Court.

Maybe Dr. Tom should enroll in the Political Science class I took at Oklahoma City Community College 15 years ago. In it, I learned that the judicial branch has the power to declare laws unconstitutional. I think it has to do with something called check and balances. I'm not 100% sure because some hot Asian girl with a tramp stamp always distracted me in class.

Also, I like how Coburn suggested that congress find a "solution" to an unconstitutional issue. Uhm, this is the same guy they call Dr. No, right? And at last check, the House is still controlled by the same type of religious zealots who led the charge to pass the now unconstitutional DOMA legislation 17 years ago, right?

On the topic of religious zealots, James Lankford also released a statement:

“We are and always have been a nation of families. In America two adults are free to live any lifestyle they choose, but marriage has always been a man and a woman committed for life to each other,” said Lankford.

“Federal law specifically defined marriage in order to clarify how individuals receive federal benefits. Every person is equal under the law and should be treated with respect, but not every relationship is a marriage. This ruling does not settle the issue for Americans, but it does create a new dilemma for those with deeply held religious beliefs and those who believe that it is best for children to have both a mother and a father.

How exactly does it create a dilemma? I don't think the Supreme Court ruled that we all have to go to Angles on Friday night and find a same-sex spouse. Families don't have to adopt an under-aged drag queen from the Boom.

“The issue of marriage was settled in Oklahoma in 2004 in State Question 711 with 75.59% of people supporting the definition as one man and one woman and again in our State House last session with a vote of 84-0. The 1996 DOMA law was designed to protect states that defined marriage between a man and woman. But in a feigned appeal to state’s rights, the Supreme Court today mandated that for all federal purposes, the citizens and State of Oklahoma must surrender their rights to any new definition of marriage.

Yeah, that's what DOMA was designed to do. Unfortunately, it was unconstitutional.

“In the days ahead, this mixed message about marriage will add unknowable complications to American families and further strain the relationship between the federal government and the people.  I will continue to pray for our nation as we process this change in our deeply rooted value of marriage,” concluded Lankford.

You know what, if you're straight and the supreme court ruling adds "unknowable complications" to your family, I hope you have gay dreams when you go to bed each night. I also hope people make fun of you for vaping. It serves you right.

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