In case you missed it, and you probably did, singer-songwriter indie god Ryan Adams trolled cartoonish conservative freak show Sean Hannity on Twitter earlier this week. Because we live in a bizarre 21st century world where things like this happen, Sean Hannity invited “Miss Oklahoma 2013” Anna Marie Costello on his show to talk about it.
Here’s a clip of the segment:
That’s cool. There’s only one problem. That wasn’t really Miss Oklahoma.
Wait. What?
The real Miss Oklahoma that will be representing our state in the 2013 Miss America Pageant is OCU student Kelsey Griswold. Remember her? Here’s a pic:
I know all pageant contestants all look the same, but that’s obviously not the same “Miss Oklahoma” who appeared on Hannity. Maybe the imposter is Miss Oklahoma USA. That would make sense. Based on the stumbling, bumbling answers she gave to Sean Hannity’s questions, she seems to have more beauty than brains.
But…she’s not. Miss Oklahoma USA is my ex-girlfriend Makenize Muse. I called things off because all she wanted to do was prance around in a bikini:
Okay, so the obvious questions here are who is this Anna Marie Costello, and why in the hell is she pretending to be Miss Oklahoma on a Fox News Show? Here’s your answer.
After doing some research, Anna Marie is something called “Miss Oklahoma United States.” It’s part of a bush-league national pageant competition that doesn’t even appear to have a representative from every state. Basically, it’s minor league. If she can get away with masquerading as Miss Oklahoma, then (dated reference alert!!!) former 89er Steve Balboni should be allowed to introduce himself as a home run champion.
I would suggest we have the state labor department investigate the matter, but that would be a waste of time. Anna Marie’s dad is Oklahoma Labor Commissioner Mark Costello. Here’s a pic from Anna Marie’s Instagram:
Oops, wrong pic. That’s the one I’m going to submit to Awkward Modeling Photos. Here’s the one I intended to post:
Great, now I have that stupid Mark Costello jingle in my head. Thanks to him, I can never drink Mellow Yellow ever again. That’s probably a good thing.
Here are a few other thoughts:
• Anna Marie’s sister, Caitlin, is Miss Teen Oklahoma United States. Or as she probably likes to be called, Miss Teen Oklahoma.
• How much do you want to bet that Anna Marie is someday going to have business cards that claim she’s the “Founder, President and CEO” of her own home-based cupcake company.
• If Anne Marie is going to pretend to be the real Miss Oklahoma on a TV show, can someone tell her about hypocrisy and irony? These were her two comments during the segment:
COSTELLO: I feel like he was tweeting — he’s a nearly 40-year-old man, and it seems as though 40 is now the new 15. So I agree.
The problem with having a Twitter account and having this platform as a celebrity is that you can say whatever you want without having any kind of accountability. He is in the public eye.
I totally agree. Celebs can say whatever they want on Twitter without having any accountability. For example, they can pretend to be something they are not. Don’t you hate it when people do that?
HANNITY: I think Anna Marie is a role model for a lot of girls.
COSTELLO: I would think so. I didn’t achieve my talent by insulting people. I have a sense of character and integrity, as everyone should. No matter if you’re a celebrity, no matter if you’re a politician or a beauty queen or whoever you may be. He has no sense of integrity.
Yes, I’m sure lots of girls look in the mirror and dream about pretending to be Miss Oklahoma on some nut job’s TV show. When I think of character and integrity, that’s the first thing to come to mind.
I just got voted Miss Oklahoma: Coyote Ugly, so I’ll be on Fox News next week. #blessed
There could be multiple “Miss United States” D-league pageants going on, but it’s possible that this is the same organization that asked my sister if she wanted to be Miss Oklahoma because she was living in the same city (DC) that the pageant was being held. A few months later, the girl who won, Nikki Poteet, resigned because of supposed shady administration that went against her values or something. But who knows, that same girl was also in trouble for supposedly being a homophobe and getting arrested for assault, so it could just some weird battle of the minor league beauty queens.
I used to know a girl that entered every pageant imaginable in high school. She was once Miss Teene Oklahoma, though she always forgot to add that last ‘e’ when she’d promote herself by going on small town media or the opening of new gas stations as a “local celebrity.” As long as you get creative with the spelling, you can be the winner of any pageant you want. That’s why I’m known as Mr. Universse.
I think the real Miss America people should investigate it and possibly file an infringement suit. Make them use the United States label.
I think it’s about time for a Miss Lost Ogle.
That’s “MS. LOST OGLE” to you, boy.
+1
I am hereby declaring myself Mr. Oklahoma for Canadians in the U.S. Our pageant does not discriminate by race, gender, orientation or species, so my cat Princess is officially 1st runner up. Pray I stay healthy because you seriously don’t want her to have that much power.
Ha! I was selected as Mr. Oklahoma for Delusional Blog readers. Of course I’m beyond rich, built, overly-well hung, handsome, super-duper smart, classy…….and what put me over the top for the crown was my talent……..Extreme Delusional capabilities………………that’s right suck It.
Love your hair, hope you win………..Buh-Bye Now!
hahahahahahahahaha
Laughed. Out. Loud.
I saw Bye Bye Balbonie hit what was probably the longest home run ever at One Sport Stadium. He was eating a hotdog on the bench, came up to bat, knocked a hanging curve over the center fiield wall that probably landed in those crappy houses on 10th, took at least 5 minutes to drag himself around the bases, and then went back to eating his hotdog. Wait, what were we talking about?
Ryan Adams was one of the worst concerts I have ever sat through. He makes Milli Vanilli look like The Beatles.
Did he forget to play “Summer of ’69?”
That’s Bryan Adams, not Ryan Adams….
I find your lack of Ryan Adams in-joke knowledge disturbing.
Her dad is Mark Costello. He’s a major league douche bag. So it’s no surprise that she is too. Maybe he bought her that “crown” with the money he saved by not paying his taxes in 1987, 1994, and 2007 (in Wisconsin).
Wow. Where do you figure that out?
Last election was a choice between two winners. http://newsok.com/oklahoma-elections-labor-commissioner-race-has-circus-feel/article/3503160
Costello has also referred to teachers and other public employees as swine.
I was joking… because that’s something we pointed out in the post.
Costello’s “sister queen” (as they call each other, gag, barf), Mrs. Oklahoma United States, is none other than the bride from the horrific, cheezy fantasy dream wedding/vendor commercial that y’all covered a year or so ago.
What? I thought they were average working folk with little money? Are you saying that daddy was a millionaire?
I am Mr. Oklahoma (Louisiana). My title was earned by having the greatest enthusiasm in the entire French Quarter by a Sooner during Mardi Gras. I can’t wait for my turn to stand them up on Sean’s wonderful program.
What’s frightening is how many of our fellow citizens just eat that shit up like it’s ribeye steak, despite how obviously contrived and controlled it is. No one with a brain would go on his show on his turf; let me at that son-of-a-bitch on a neutral forum and we’ll see just how soon he shows up… NEVER.
I am the real Miss Oklahoma, as shown on USA Networks. You may verify this information by contacting my alma mater, Harvard Princeton Yale.
Her instagram’s private. What a great way to represent Oklahoma!
Miss Oklahoma of the lower 48 contiguous United States of North America south of Canada north of Mexico
Has a nice ring to it.
I had passionate sex with the Corn Dog Queen of the Oklahoma State Fair.