2013 Worst of OKC: Worst Suburban Police Force

Let’s go ahead and distance myself as much as possible from this category. I drive a van with a wonky tail light. And I sell ice cream out of it…illegally.

Before you leave a comment complaining about this category and all the good things cops do for us, remember two things:

1. I couldn’t do what the police do because I’m not brave and also not in shape. Well, I’m in a shape just not the kind of shape one would want in an officer of the law.

2. Just because something is the “Worst” doesn’t mean it’s bad. For example, is there anything wrong with the worst Thunder girl? Nope. Not at all.

Having said that, get ready to anonymously vote for the worst suburban police department.

Oof.

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Bethany / Warr Acres Police Department

These towns are basically interchangeable. I’m glad the Warr Acres police force is “committed to excellence.” That’s better than the Bethany’s slogan which is “Committed to giving teenagers tickets.” The most notable crime spree as of late in this area is a group of people impersonating utility workers. That’s right. Someone pretending to be someone with a job.

Edmond Police Department

Edmond police are cool because they get to pull over super hot Edmond girls all the time. They also get state of the art equipment to better do their job. If you want to be a cop that plays with cool toys all day, well, follow those guys. Sure, it’s Edmond so you’ll probably not use them for anything other than being in commercials and impressing hot UCO girls, but that’s what being a cop is all about, right?

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Nichols Hills Police Department

It’s important to have police officers to protect the uber wealthy from things like trucks and people who make less than $150k a year. It’s really cool when the police pull you over during Christmas time when all the peasants come to where the rich people live and gaze at the splendor that is wasted energy on houses bigger than Traber’s ego. All in the name of protecting and serving the super rich. Thanks!

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Norman Police Department

When they aren’t arresting drunk OU fans on game day for being, well, drunk, Norman Police like to pull people over for going 4 miles over the speed limit. Trust me on that one. I suppose with the majority of arrests in Norman taking place only on game days, that leaves a whole lot of other days of the year where they are bored. If I were a bored cop in a college town I’d probably spend time making sure all the sororities were safe. “Just making another visit to make sure everyone is ok. Another pillow fight? You girls be careful in there!” Maybe I’ll just rent a cop uniform and give it a go.

HootersCops

Valley Brook Police Department

If you’ve gone to a strip club on the south side, and god help you if you have, you’re well aware of the Valley Brook Police Department. Valley Brook is a “town” consisting of strip clubs, a gas station and a police station. VBPD love to pull people over and love to charge an insane amount of money for traffic violations. I’m not sure they’re good at their job though. I spoke with a guy who got a DUI in that “town” but was happy because he had a huge sack of stripper dust in his pocket they didn’t find. So…well done Valley Brook. Well done.

Worst of OKC 2013: Worst Suburban Police Department

  • Valley Brook Police Department (40%, 392 Votes)
  • Edmond Police Department (20%, 192 Votes)
  • Nichols Hills Police Department (15%, 143 Votes)
  • Norman Police Department (14%, 134 Votes)
  • Bethany / Warr Acres Police Department (12%, 116 Votes)

Total Voters: 977

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