Hello everyone. The closer we get to Halloween the scarier and creepier OKC events become, and nothing epitomizes that like “Affair of the Heart.” The festival of all things Hobby Lobby is be on display weekend at State Fair Park.
I hear from sources that the “Affair” is a goldmine if you like Christmas crafts created from magazine instructions by middle age and up women. I expect you can find Patrick roaming the trinkets and Bedazzled sweaters while he tries to find his “life-work” balance.
I feel slightly bad for making fun of the event. I know those who take part put much tender, love and care into all those beaded bracelets, but if someone sets up the pins, you’ve got to knock them down.
So now to the things you will be doing after Affair of the Heart.
Bright Night of Superheroes, Science Museum Oklahoma, Friday 6 p.m.
I don’t know many examples of “dorkdom” that can top dressing up like a superhero and staying the night in the museum. I say that lovingly. For those of you that this is a frequent dream I offer you the keys to the night of your life.
Science Museum Oklahoma will be entertaining all costumed crusaders with hands-on experiments, a guided tour of the planetarium and IMAX films. Imagine the enjoyment of playing with a baking soda volcano while dressed as Ghost Rider. I think I just convinced you.
Oh, and the party doesn’t stop till 6 a.m. Yeah, this is hardcore science, all while you are dressed like Donatello, as in the ninja turtle, not the painter. Wait, you should totally go as the painter.
Tickets are $45 for children and $25 for adults. IQ points have never been cheaper.
Reding Farm Corn Maize, 614 Reding Road, Chickasha, $10 and up
This weekend is your last chance to die in a maze. You must pounce on these opportunities, they only come about once a year. Just think of how not embarrassing that obituary will be.
Seriously, look at that thing. The tiger’s head is a death trap. You better bring flares. Actually don’t, I don’t want to get yelled at by someone for starting a fire. Be sure to have your Girl Scout skills on tap because you might be stranded, and for you Boy Scouts, well you are just screwed, you’re not going to make it out.
Yeah I said it, Girl Scouts are better prepared for survival than Boy Scouts. I know a Girl Scout very well and she could MacGyver a tree branch and a shoestring into a raft that performs dialysis. No amount of Trail’s End popcorn going to save you in an apocalypse.
Anyways, go get lost in corn.
Oklahoma Gazette Halloween Parade, Downtown OKC, 7 p.m.
The city government is allowing a whole block of Midtown to be shut down so 60,000 people can be weird. Saturday night is going to be special but I bet 10,000 of those people will be dressed like Walter White. Another 5,000 will be Rick Grimes.
The 7th Oklahoma Gazette Halloween Parade will commence Saturday at 7 p.m. Forty parade floats of terror and demise will follow a route of NW 10th Street, N. Hudson Boulevard, NW 6th Street and N Broadway. Judging the floats will be Oklahoma Today’s (I interned there!) 2011 Oklahoman of the Year Mary Beth Babcock, The Spy’s Ferris O’Brien and a few other artsy people.
All the local businesses will be in on the act as well so there will be plenty of freaky stuff to look at and do. So if you find your way out of that damn corn maze you should go.
Well there you are. Go do stuff.
Adam Holt is a freelance journalist and musician. He has never been to a beach.