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How to be in an Oklahoma Tourism commercial

9:30 AM EDT on March 18, 2014

Do you wanna be famous? If so, the Oklahoma Tourism Department has a great way to get you started down the path to stardom.

From KOCO.com:

A casting office is looking for dozens of Oklahomans to appear in the next round of commercials promoting Oklahoma tourism.

Freihofer Casting will hold auditions in Norman and Tulsa, but will also invite people from across the state to send in their own video auditions for consideration.

Each person selected to appear in the commercial will be paid and is asked to appear in one location on one day for a few hours. Adults 18 years old and over will be paid $200, while children under 18 will receive $100.

Couples, families and people of all ages are needed for a few hours to appear in the spots that will air nationwide.

Two-hundred bucks for one day of pretending like Oklahoma has a lot of things to do? Not bad!

The 2013 tourism video is posted above. I thought it would be fun to give you some pointers on how to land the role of "Oklahoman" for a commercial that will not at all represent what it's like to visit Oklahoma.

1. Be attractive

Listen, most of us are a little...or a lot overweight. We aren't trying to promote a fair-goer eating a double fried turkey leg Indian taco corn dog with a Big Gulp of ranch dressing. We are trying to show the best of our state. Oklahoma has some of the most beautiful women on the planet and some of the handsomest men, so if you're good looking, go ahead and send in a tape. If you look like a bag of hot garbage, sit this one out.

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2. Be active

They are looking for people that like to do stuff you probably have never done in Oklahoma: kayaking, rock climbing, jogging after going on a meth bender--that sort of stuff. They want to showcase all the activities that are available in Oklahoma. So play up the fact that you like to go wake boarding, but downplay the fact that you do it after drinking a 12-pack of Coors.

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DebySnodgrass

3. Tell Deby Snodgrass she deserves a raise.

In all honesty, it is probably time for another one.

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4. Have a good singing voice

You'll be singing "Oklahoma!" It's a great song, but please don't butcher it. That would be more embarrassing than Meg Alexander singing the National Anthem.

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5. Wear a headdress

Just make sure you are A.) Native American and B.) celebrating our state's rich and diverse Native American culture, not mocking it because you like beautiful things. Actually, who gives a shit. Wear what you want.

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6. Don't play for the Thunder

Apparently, the Department of Tourism can't afford to get Thunder players in their videos, but Edmond Hyundai can. The only basketball we had was someone making a half court shot. In an odd way, that's refreshing.

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7. Turn your phone sideways

You have the option of recording your audition on your phone. If you use this option, for the love of God, turn it sideways. This holds true for any recording you do with your phone. If I wanted to see something filmed on a camera by someone who didn't know how to use it, I would watch street fights on YouTube.

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The point of these ads it to get people from other areas to come here and spend their money. So let's gloss over the potholes and panhandlers and pretend like Oklahoma is the greatest state in America and take these suckers tourists for all they're worth!

Send your auditions to @SpencerLenox on Twitter

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