The new Miss Oklahoma tried really hard to be the new Miss Oklahoma…

Alex Eppler

Miss Enid, Alexandra Eppler, was crowned Real Miss Oklahoma on Saturday night. Yep, Miss Enid. I bet her talent was threshing wheat.

Via NewsOK.com:

Alexandra Eppler, competing as Miss Enid, won the Miss Oklahoma title Saturday night at Oral Roberts University’s Mabee Center.

Eppler, of Enid, is a graduate of the University of Oklahoma with a bachelor of science degree.

For the talent competition, Eppler did an interpretive dance to “Wonderland.”

“I kind of feel like I’m floating right now,” she said. “I actually had two people just pinch me because I didn’t think this was real life — I’m elated.

So, I just had to google both interpretive dance and the song Wonderland. On a positive note, it’s not the John Mayer “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” On a negative note, guess which state’s not going to win Miss America this year.

Anyway, Alexandra’s platform for the pageant was over-the-top persistence. When I searched for pictures of Alexandra for the obligatory Miss Oklahoma after the jump photo dump, I learned she’s some sort of pageant Sellsword. She’s been Miss Something of Whatever since you were probably 20 pounds lighter. For example, here’s a pic of Alexandra as 2009 Miss Oak Cliff. I guess that’s some suburb of Dallas or something:

Apparently Alexandra wanted a change of scenery or easier competition, so she ended up in Oklahoma and was named Miss Oklahoma State Fair in 2010. Her bouquet was made of turkey legs and corn on the cob.

Here’s a pic:

alex eppler 2010

You should check out the entire Miss State Fair Oklahoma photo gallery. They feature tons of photos of people you’d never see at the State Fair.

Apparently being Miss State Fair wasn’t good enough, so she won Miss Tulsa in 2011:

alex eppler 2011

She won the swimsuit competition and made everyone wish Tulsa had beaches.

alex eppler more norman

Alexandra was named Miss Moore Norman in 2012, or as they call it pageant circles, Miss Tecumseh Road.

That’s Alexandra’s headshot from the 2013 Miss Oklahoma pageant. She competed in that one as Miss Edmond Liberty Fest. The fact that she loves liberty probably had something to do with this:

https://twitter.com/alexepp0622/status/413552157376262144

And finally, here is 2009 Miss Oak Cliff, 2010 Miss Oklahoma State Fair, 2011 Miss Tulsa, 2012 Miss Moore Norman, 2013 Miss Edmond Liberty Fest, 2014 Miss Enid and your new Miss Oklahoma, Alexandra Eppler:

Alex Eppler swimsuit

She’s in the radiant orchid swimsuit.

Anyway, after years and years and years and years of not eating cake, congratulations to Alexandra for finally winning Miss Oklahoma. We hope you do well, and when it’s all over, adapt to a life of not preparing for beauty pageants.