The DEQ looks like a fun place to work…

431 NE 14th Street in Oklahoma City, OK.

I guess people in the public sector like to have sex and flaunt power, too.

On Friday, the Journal Record published a long expose titled “Sex and Sabotage.” Thanks to open records and some grainy footage from the Bass Pro Shops parking lot, it covered in bizarre detail the shady and sultry dealings between bitter Department of Environmental Quality employee Wendy Caperton and Oklahoma State Representative Don Armes.

The article at the Journal Record is kind of long, so here’s the Pat’s Notes synopsis:

steve thompson DEQ

Steve Thompson

1. DEQ Executive Director Steve Thompson resigns because he sexually harassed – and appear to show preferential treatment – to a long time DEQ employee.

Scott Thompson

Scott Thompson

2. DEQ brings aboard Gerald McRaney look-a-like Scott Thompson as the new agency director. It’s part of the agency’s new controversial policy to only hire guys named S. Thompson.

don1

Don Armes

wendy caperton 2

Wendy Caperton

mista burgess

Mista Burgess

3. Two disgruntled DEQ employees – Wendy Caperton and Mista Burgess – don’t like the new S. Thompson, so they work with high-ranking state rep Don Armes to wreck the agency budget and undermine the Gerald McRaney look-a-like.

431 NE 14th Street in Oklahoma City, OK.

The Blue House

4. Caperton and Armes have a lot of sex and secret meetings at some place called the Blue House.

trump fired

5. Word gets around that Caperton and Burgess are behind the sabotage. Both get fired.

mike turner 3

6. Mike Turner eats another eye booger.

m scott carter

M. Scott Carter

7. Someone makes a phone call to The Journal Record reporter M. Scott Carter. He files some open records requests to get access to Caperton’s text messages. Journal Record publishes lengthy expose about sabotage and affair.

Ted Streuli

Ted Streuli

8. Proud that they finally reported content that’s of actually interest to Lost Ogle readers, Journal Record editor Ted Streuli places the story on the outside of the Journal Record paywall.

Anyway, that’s the quick breakdown. If you want to read the entire novella, go to the Journal Record website. It’s a good read. Also, if you’re a politician or state employee and want to secretly undermine a state agency or have a secret relationship in a rundown house, go buy one of Saul Goodman’s throwaway phones at a Cricket wireless store. If you’re really smart, develop a code like they did on The Wire.