The DEQ looks like a fun place to work…

431 NE 14th Street in Oklahoma City, OK.

I guess people in the public sector like to have sex and flaunt power, too.

On Friday, the Journal Record published a long expose titled “Sex and Sabotage.” Thanks to open records and some grainy footage from the Bass Pro Shops parking lot, it covered in bizarre detail the shady and sultry dealings between bitter Department of Environmental Quality employee Wendy Caperton and Oklahoma State Representative Don Armes.

The article at the Journal Record is kind of long, so here’s the Pat’s Notes synopsis:

steve thompson DEQ
Steve Thompson

1. DEQ Executive Director Steve Thompson resigns because he sexually harassed – and appear to show preferential treatment – to a long time DEQ employee.

Scott Thompson
Scott Thompson

2. DEQ brings aboard Gerald McRaney look-a-like Scott Thompson as the new agency director. It’s part of the agency’s new controversial policy to only hire guys named S. Thompson.

Don Armes
wendy caperton 2
Wendy Caperton
mista burgess
Mista Burgess

3. Two disgruntled DEQ employees – Wendy Caperton and Mista Burgess – don’t like the new S. Thompson, so they work with high-ranking state rep Don Armes to wreck the agency budget and undermine the Gerald McRaney look-a-like.

431 NE 14th Street in Oklahoma City, OK.
The Blue House

4. Caperton and Armes have a lot of sex and secret meetings at some place called the Blue House.

trump fired

5. Word gets around that Caperton and Burgess are behind the sabotage. Both get fired.

mike turner 3

6. Mike Turner eats another eye booger.

m scott carter
M. Scott Carter

7. Someone makes a phone call to The Journal Record reporter M. Scott Carter. He files some open records requests to get access to Caperton’s text messages. Journal Record publishes lengthy expose about sabotage and affair.

Ted Streuli
Ted Streuli

8. Proud that they finally reported content that’s of actually interest to Lost Ogle readers, Journal Record editor Ted Streuli places the story on the outside of the Journal Record paywall.

Anyway, that’s the quick breakdown. If you want to read the entire novella, go to the Journal Record website. It’s a good read. Also, if you’re a politician or state employee and want to secretly undermine a state agency or have a secret relationship in a rundown house, go buy one of Saul Goodman’s throwaway phones at a Cricket wireless store. If you’re really smart, develop a code like they did on The Wire.

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5 Responses

  1. The real problem here is that someone named their child Mista!

  2. Great job, Ogle! You made what is a nightmare situation for DEQ employees into a hilarious article, and we desperately needed something to make us laugh. It’s hard to believe that some crazy (in a bad way) vagina was worth destroying a marriage, career, and denying state workers (who haven’t had a raise in 7 years) much-needed pay increases. I hope this Wendy chick at least did weird stuff in bed.

  3. I can see why Caperton fell for that Armes guy… Combine those lonesome rugged cowboy good looks with all the power that oozed from his magnetic personality, plus the Hitler mustache, and you have yourself a heartbreaker. Women like that just love real, pure, unadulterated power. That Armes guy was clearly big time. I hear he goes by ” The Heartbreak Kid” when he’s out riding with his gang, pillaging those Mexican villages and rustling cattle. He’s just like J.R. Ewing- except with more power. And he knows he’s a good lookin’ som’bitch.

  4. Read the comments below the Journal Record article…..they are almost as good as the article…

  5. Actually, the Ted Streuli guy is hot! Was he sleeping with anyone?

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