Hello America, today is your 238th birthday and you don’t look a day over 45. The Botox revolution is amazing. I’m always impressed that the colors in your red, white and blue mascara never run.
Luckily for many, this year’s Independence Day lands on a Friday, allowing a larger than average infusion of celebratory alcohol. Unluckily, laboratory rats have repeatedly proven that combining explosives and alcohol will result in many Americans attending work on Monday with fewer fingers.
The U.S. plays hard on the 4th, and when you make omelets in war….you break eggs….and fool me once….dammit, I don’t remember the quotes. All I’m saying is America will have less fingers Monday because we party without abandon.
Our get togethers are beautiful events. We light the sky with the emotion, awe and wonder of a James Lankford tweet. Well maybe not. It’s amazing how Lankford can pull at your heartstrings and send your mind into a philosophical tizzy in 140 characters or less.
I feel for him though, being a redhead with the skin tone of a dead fish belly like Lankford. Neither of us will get out to watch the fireworks because the bright lights of the explosions will give us sunburns. We live a rough life.
If only we lived back in the day before fireworks. America used to celebrate on July 3rd by building pyramids with barrels and lighting them on fire. Who knew that once fireworks were the safe alternative?
Here you go Rep. Lankford, a fireworks display safe for our skin.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Bricktown 4th Fest
Friday, 4pm, Throughout Bricktown, Free to the public
If none of your friends invited you to their cookout, first re-evaluate your friendship, then head to the Bricktown 4th Fest. You can always comfort your soul with the knowledge that Bricktown will always be your friend and hold your hair when you throw-up.
Starting at 4 p.m., the town of brick will be celebrating everywhere within its confines. Plenty of food and drink will be available at your favorite bars, clubs and restaurants while music floods the streets. The bands on-hand are Beat Street, The Argots, Good Culture, Hosty Duo, and Oil Boom. Even the Redhawks are celebrating by playing the Iowa Cubs at 7:05 p.m.
The music ends at 9:30 p.m. to make room for the sound of explosions. Feel free to bring lawn chairs and blankets for the light show. There will be plenty of areas throughout Bricktown, Deep Deuce and other areas to set up for the nighttime fun.
Paseo’s First Friday Gallery Walk
Fri – 6pm, Sat – 12pm, Paseo Arts District, Free
If you like your artwork to be accompanied by the glare of colorful fireworks and the sound of explosions, then go to the Paseo for the First Friday Gallery Walk. Afterwards, take that idea of mixing visual art and explosions and create the next big art movement. If successful, I require a finder’s fee.
It isn’t every year that a fireworks display lands on a First Friday Gallery Walk, so definitely take advantage of this extra special event. Seventeen galleries featuring more than 60 artists are participating. There are also multiple art opening receptions feature new or guest artists. Go get cultured and have hotdogs afterwards.
Everybody and Their Dog’s 20-Year Celebration Show
Sat – 7:30pm, Reduxion Theatre, 914 N Broadway Ave Suite #120, $10-15
Well look at that, one of OKC’s favorite improv groups is almost old enough to drink. Everybody and Their Dog is now 20 years old. It’s too bad that America is trying to steal their birthday thunder.
The troupe is celebrating with an unscripted (shocking!) comedy show at the Reduxion Theatre. During their two decades of laughter, the troupe has seen many members come and go. The attraction of Saturday’s big birthday event is bringing back many alumni, creating a super-sized comedy extravaganza.
So after you sleep off the hot dog and Mad Dog 20/20 hangover, come on out to the Reduxion Theatre and celebrate an OKC original. Everyone will be there, including their…..no, I’m not doing it.
Adam Holt is a musician and freelance journalist. He doesn’t like blue jeans. They are too hot and they bind.
Follow Adam on Twitter at @ArkansasFresh.