If you are a regular reader of TLO, then you know certain writers have had a little fun at the Gazette’s expense. I think it’s because those certain writers are jealous, envious, whiny, sad little men who can’t handle or deal with the accomplishments of friends and colleagues, but what do I know. Sure, the Gazette put a Wayne Coyne mask on the cover last month, but let’s not forget that Wayne Coyne is a famous… singer? Rock star? Drug user? Whatever, people know who he is and the few times I’ve met him he’s always been nice. But let’s not forget that the Gazette, aside from all the massage ads, is a cool weekly newspaper and we are lucky to have it.
Since other writers here at TLO headquarters have poked fun at my favorite weekly paper, I’d like to give you 5 reasons the Gazette is the best newspaper in Oklahoma:
5.) It’s not The Oklahoman
The Oklahoman is terrible. If you Google, “worst newspapers in america,” guess what pops up? This:
Pretty cool, right? I think we should all google and click on that to make sure that turd stays atop the search engine results.
In fact, when you have such a shitty newspaper, it makes every other newspaper look fantastic.
4.) They cover cool things happening in our city
Remember when Wimgo was a thing? Yeah, The Oklahoman tried and failed to capture a slice of the social media generation. Meanwhile, The Gazette constantly keeps its readers informed of cool things happening in the city for 50-year-olds.
“Hey, Edgar Cruz is playing at the Myriad Gardens. Let’s Go.”
Hell, the Gazette even leads the way sometimes. Like with the Halloween Parade they helped start, build and then bail on. What I’m trying to say is, if you want to know what cool things are happening, you will grab a Gazette instead of The Oklahoman.
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3.) They are progressive
When was the last time you read an article in The Oklahoman that was about gay marriage, racism, abuse of power, or environmental topics that wasn’t on the side of rich white people? And the comment sections… If you are ever feeling too hopeful about humanity, just visit NewsOK.com’s comment section. There you will find such luminaries as Thomas Furlong duking it out with anyone on a daily basis. Which is funny because Furlong seems to be a hyper conservative that has nothing better to do than post ON EVERY OP-ED! That dude needs to find a hobby, or shut up and run for office.
But The Gazette is like a breath of fresh air when it comes to reporting the news. They often have a point/counter-point of opinions. The Chicken Fried News is sometimes funny. And when they talk about LGBT rights or taking care of the planet, they don’t act as if it’s an affront to God. If Jesus were an Oklahoma newspaper, he would be The Gazette.
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2.) It’s free
Most newspapers require you to pay money to read the information they printed. Thanks to all those “handy” massage ads in the back of the Gazette, along with other ads on every page, their magazine is free for the taking! It also has a Sudoku puzzle in the back at no extra charge, which you can watch me complete between rounds at TLO trivia on Tuesdays at the Speakeasy!
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1.) They put awesome things on the cover
Sometimes, when you have friends as awesome as mine, they’ll write blog posts about you. Or just send you pictures like this:
If you need me, Taylor Swift and I will be shaking the haters off.
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Now that my week as Gazette coverboy is over, I feel a little let down that it didn’t catapult my comedy career. Instead, it probably just ruined my chance to run for governor against Todd Lamb. But hey, there is no such thing as bad press, just ask Bill Cosby! Anywho, support the Gazette and your local blogs, because they’re awesome.
Your rectum is bigger than once previously thought.
Why are you thinking about his rectum?
Yes, the ads and “food reviews” that make up the majority of the rag are oh-so progressive and provide a welcome, important voice amid the cacophony of virulent conservatism belched out of the Oklahoman.