This bus driver likes Jell-O shots…

Tammy Jones bus

The dentist’s wet dream pictured above is Tammy Jones. She was recently arrested for knocking back some Jell-O shots while bussing people around an Illinois River resort:

A woman accused of taking Jell-O shots of alcohol while transporting passengers at an Illinois River resort was arrested on a complaint of driving while impaired.

Tammy Jones, 53, of Wagoner was arrested about noon Saturday in Cherokee County on a complaint of driving a motor vehicle while impaired.

Jones, who has since been fired by Eagle Bluff Resort in Tahlequah, posted $2,500 bail that day and was released from the Cherokee County Detention Center, authorities said.

Jones consumed Jell-O shots supplied by passengers, said Ed Fite, administrator for the Oklahoma Scenic Rivers Commission, which oversees the waterway

“It’s absurd that someone who is retained to drive a bus that the general public has paid is consuming an alcoholic beverage,” Fite said in a telephone interview. “It’s beyond me.

It’s beyond you? Are you not familiar with bus drivers? If I’m a driving a bus for an Illinois river resort and a passenger offers me free Jell-O shots, I’m definitely taking them. It doesn’t even matter that Jell-O shots are disgusting. The worst thing that can happen is that you’ll wreck the bus, which in an odd way, may help advance your career.

Seriously, this Ed Fite guy has no clue what he’s talking about. Check out this statement:

“I’ve seen a lot in working 32 years on the Illinois River. But I’ve never run up against this particular type of incident where one of the people we rely on to make sure the public is safe failed to keep their responsibility.”

Dude, the scariest bus ride of my life also took place along the Illinois river at (I think) the very same resort. The 16-year-old kid who raced us down the winding roads along the river to our rafts was either A) very drunk or B) thought he was Sandra Bullock in Speed. I don’t think the bus dropped below 55 on the ride to the float trip loading zone. In fact, I think we had to jump out of the back of the bus onto rafts while it was still moving. The whole experience was terrifying, but also kind of fun. I guess you can say it was like floating the Illinois River.

Anyway, what else do we need to know about this not-news news story:

Jones’ breath alcohol level was measured at 0.07 percent, said Capt. Bill James of the Rogers Division of the OSRC. A person can be arrested on a complaint of driving under the influence of alcohol with a reading of at least 0.08 percent. The threshold for a DWI complaint is 0.06-0.07 percent, according to Oklahoma statutes.

After disembarking, a passenger told a ranger about Jones’ consumption of alcohol, James said. It is unclear how many passengers were on the bus, but the average number before noon is 15-20, he said.

So, who’s the snitch that turned in this lady? You’re about to float down a trickling cesspool of human urine, chicken waste and who knows what else, and you’re more concerned about a not-even-legally drunk bus driver? WTF? Get your priorities straight. I’m pretty 73% of all bus drivers are intoxicated. It’s how they cope with being bus drivers. Get a life you fun hating loser.