Some dude stole a $2,800 bottle of cognac


Like any fan of the show, Parks and Rec, I am oft wont to treat myself. It’s moderately embarrassing to think about how many fine leather goods I’ve purchased over the past month, but whatever. You only live once, and what else would I do with the money anyway? Put it in savings? That’s boring. Besides, that’s kind of the point of treating yourself, you know, spending your money on you.

However, there are those who like to treat themselves without actually having the money. And no, I’m not referring to people who put everything on credit cards. According to

OKLAHOMA CITY —A man reportedly stole a bottle of liquor valued at more than $2,800 Saturday from a store in northwest Oklahoma City.

About 1:10 a.m. Saturday, police responded to an alarm at Sam’s Warehouse Liquor on the 2900 block of Northwest 63rd Street, according to a police report. Officers did not find anyone at the store, but the front left glass entry door was shattered.

Surveillance footage shows that a man shattered the door, grabbed several bottles of liquor and left, the report said.

One of the bottles the man took was a bottle of cognac that cost more than $2,800, officials said.

Anyone with information about the man is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 405-235-7300.

In the thief’s defense, that $2,800 price is definitely marked up for retail. I mean, you’d be hard-pressed to find a person with a cognac budget to accommodate that sort of purchase. And, if I’m being real here, you’d probably be pretty hard-pressed to find a person who really wanted to buy a bottle of cognac at all. That’s definitely not an everyday sort of liquor store purchase.

Well, I hope the cognac was worth it. It’s not like the thief can actually enjoy the drink with friends, especially since a fancy pants $2,800 bottle is incredibly conspicuous. You know what else may also be worth it? Calling Crime Stoppers to turn this man in. Not only is tattling on someone immensely satisfying, but you can potentially receive a cash reward for giving information about this individual. I mean, it won’t be enough cash to buy a $2,800 bottle of cognac, but it’s cash nonetheless.