State Lawmakers hoard VIP Tickets for American Ninja Warrior…

ninja-state-capitol

Back in February, word came out that American Ninja Warrior would be filming an episode at the Hell hole known as the Oklahoma State Capitol. Some of the Oklahoma Capitol-themed obstacles included on the course are the…

1. Guardian Climb – Contestants must climb a rope to the Guardian statue, pull a feather from its headdress, and then slide down the dome into a pool of raw sewage fresh from the Capitol’s broken plumbing system and put the feather in an empty disposal well.

 2. The Lime Stone Drop – A dangerous and daring obstacle where aspiring ninjas must run up the capitol’s south entrance into the main building while dodging chunks of limestone falling from the Capitol’s cornices and architraves.

People who enjoy contrived, formulaic, reality TV are very excited about the event. This includes Mary Fallin. She gave the following quote to KFOR:

“It’s exciting that Oklahoma, and especially our state Capitol, will be showcased on ‘American Ninja Warrior,” said Gov. Mary Fallin. “This will allow viewers to get a glimpse of all the impressive things that are going on in Oklahoma City.”

Yeah. Those viewers from all over the country sure are going to be impressed with our decrypt capitol that’s falling to the ground. Who thought that was a good idea? Instead of American Ninja Warrior, they should have brought in one of those HGTV fixer upper shows where they rescue and flip damaged, unkept property.

State lawmakers are also pumped for the Ninja battle. I don’t blame them. According to an email we received via the Ogle Mole Network, they are being offered private tours of the obstacle course and free VIP On Camera tickets, because you know, if anyone deserves VIP treatment in this state right now, it’s the people who work in the Oklahoma State Capitol.

Check out this email that Oklahoma Speaker of House Jeff Hickman sent to all of his colleagues late last week:

From: Jeff Hickman <jwhickman@okhouse.gov>
Date:05/05/2016 5:40 PM
To: Representatives <Representatives@okhouse.gov>
Cc: Tonya Pogue <Tonya.Pogue@okhouse.gov>
Subject: NOON FRIDAY DEADLINE FOR AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR TOURS

Dear Members,

As you may be aware, a major television network will be filming next week on the south side of the Capitol Building.  “American Ninja Warrior” is an obstacle course competition show that is entering its eighth season on NBC with rebroadcasts on the Esquire Network. It is one of the most highly-rated family shows on television.  Our Capitol will be highlighted on this episode as it undergoes renovations and prepares for its centennial. Filming for the show will take place at night.

As a courtesy the production is offering limited availability for VIP tours and seating for the taping of the show.  The Oklahoma Film & Music Office is coordinating the VIP list and needs to finalize and send it to NBC on Friday (tomorrow) so please reply by noon, Friday, May 6, with your top 3 preferences from the options below if you are interested. Requests can be sent by email to Tonya Pogue in my office at Tonya.Pogue@okhouse.gov  Many of you have already spoken with Kim Caplinger with the OK Tourism Department, so if she already has you on the list there is no need to duplicate your request.

AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR – VIP Options – Please Indicate Top 3 Choices:

1) Tour of Course – Thursday, May 12, 11am tour (approx. 20 min.)

  • 20 ppl max
  • Pics at OK banners & ANW banners

2) Tour of Course  – Friday, May 13, 11amtour (approx. 20 min.)

  • 20 ppl max
  • Pics at OK banners & ANW banners

3) Tour of Course  –  Saturday, May 14, 11amtour (approx. 20 min.)

  • 20 ppl max
  • Pics at OK banners & ANW banners

4) Behind the Scenes Tour – Friday, May 13, 7:00pm tour

  • Behind the Scenes Tour BEFORE THE SHOOT
  • 15 ppl max
  • Pictures available

5) Behind the Scenes Tour – Saturday, May 14, 7:00pm tour

  • Behind the Scenes Tour BEFORE THE SHOOT
  • 15 ppl max
  • Pictures available

6) On-Camera VIP Audience – Friday, May 13, TBD – Estimate seating by 8:30 for 9p filming

  • Behind the Course
  • On Camera
  • Guaranteed seating – up to 100+
  • Can get up and leave – but at CAMERA Breaks

7) On-Camera VIP Audience – Saturday, May 14, TBD – Estimate seating by 8:30 for 9p filming

  • Behind the Course
  • On Camera
  • Guaranteed seating – up to 100+
  • Can get up and leave – but at CAMERA Breaks

Rep. Jeffrey W. Hickman
Speaker of the House
State of Oklahoma

That’s awesome. It’s nice to see Oklahoma lawmakers getting such preferential treatment for an event being held at a place that’s owned and funded by Oklahoma taxpayers. You would think there would be a more fair and equitable way to distribute the tickets. For example, maybe they could give the “On Camera VIP Passes” or “Behind The Scene Tours” to the families of furloughed teachers, laid off government workers, out-of-work landmen, or any of the thousands upon thousands of other people who lost their jobs and livelihood thanks to the failed policies and practices of our incompetence legislature. They could probably use a fun distraction. But then again, “fair” and “equitable” are foreign words to Oklahoma lawmakers.

Because I’m curious which state lawmakers took up Speaker Hickman on his offer, I sent him the following email a few minutes ago:

hickman email

You may noticed that I screwed up and forgot to ask Mr. Hickman if I could bum some VIP On Camera tickets. I’m not an American Ninja Warrior fan, but as the popularity of this website shows, I’m surely a VIP. Since I’m sure Speaker Hickman is busy solving our state’s budget crisis, or handling all the VIP ticket requests, I turned to a different channel:

derek albro

I’ll let you know when Speaker Hickman or Derek get back with me. Until then, I’ll try to get some tickets on StubHub. Knowing our state reps like we do, I’m sure most will looking to sell their tickets anyway.