Monday Morning Tweets

Howdy, pardners! It was great seeing y’all at the TLO 10th Anniversary Party last Saturday. By that, I mean literally seeing you, since I didn’t really talk to anybody. I was the awkward dude in the Conway Twitty t-shirt sloppily scarfing down a smoked bologna sandwich and semi-responsibly sipping barrel-aged beer before going into my regular job for the night. Thanks to Patrick and Anthem Brewing for throwing the party. Maybe by the 20th Anniversary, we’ll finally be the Found Ogle’s…

Enes Kanter had an interesting weekend

The OKC Thunder power forward who may or may not be overpaid ran into some passport problems on Saturday. Check out the video he posted on Twitter:

What, you don’t speak Arabic? Typical Okies. Here’s the English version in case you don’t have the Babylon app:

Eventually, he got flown to London, where he was able to fly back to the US. I’m sure it was a tense situation, but by the end, he even got the Romanian police to pose in a picture with him:

(-Lucas)

Sounds like every day for me

We’re no stranger to lewd jokes about the weather here at TLO, but Damon just went to a new low here. (-Lucas)

Subtly Kills

While the 405 says their goodbyes to Adrianna Irr… Iwas… *Iwasinski,* she was gracious in her adieu to OKC to made sure her crew that she’s leaving behind was included. Not to be upstaged, the young lady to her left was flashing the bling, as if to say, “You got the job, but I got the rock.” (-Steven)

The brotherhood of the fastening onesies

Men see women do amazing and adorable things and think it’s easy to be adorable and amazing. And before they know it, they’re standing at the urinal and realize the rompers don’t button all the way down, and they realize how amazing and adorable it is to be naked in front of their bros in the bar bathroom. (-Andria)

Being A Reporter Sure Does Look Fun

As best I can tell, being a journalist consists of long periods of time sitting around being incomparably bored, followed by brief moments where things happen and then you write about them, only to be yelled at in the Facebook comments by people who just read the headline and misunderstood even that. Also, you don’t get paid very well. So it sounds great. (-Tony)

‘Fear Street’ > ‘Goosebumps’

It’s weird that Travis Scott picked a city where weed isn’t legal to play his hit song 14 times in a row, but we’re bored enough around here to enjoy it. (-Steven)

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor

I hate to ask this question again, but where’s the ranch?

Also, sleeping like a starfish feels like winning.

Other things include buying nachos with all of that cash in your account and not having to share your nachos. (-Andria)

Do as I say…

I almost t-boned a trooper the other day because he ran a red light. I can only assume he was catching up on Monday Morning Tweets. (-Steven)

I’m not even really hungry. You choose. 

That feeling when a single tweet lays all of your darkest truths bare. But we’re not going to apologize. Women can run the world and still not know what we want to eat. It’s called equality, sir. (-Andria)

Lord England Doth Speaketh

All the reality shows in the world aren’t going to buy you Gary England’s approval. The pettiness is real, and it’s wonderful. (-Tony)

Oklahoma Lawmakers are getting desperate…

Last week, we published a list of other scandals that may rock the capitol. I guess it was a hit, because several of the lawmakers responded to us on Twitter…

I don’t know about you, but I liked it more when lawmakers just got mad and talked shit about us instead of playing along with the joke.

Under the Radar

Show me a Del City graduation party that went RIGHT and I’ll gift you a yacht at Lake Stanley Draper. (-Lucas)

Dear God, Abigail Ogle is going to rule the world someday…

Can pollen blow up a planet?

Dean Blevins Memorial Tweet of the week featuring Dean Blevins

Did anyone actually go to this thing? As the original roastmaster of the OKC media, I was insulted that we weren’t invited to attend. I have a notebook filled with jokes about midgets, Thai hookers, urinated, breaking in baseball mitts, and wearing swim trunks to play basketball.