Great. OKC’s syphilis outbreak is now national, front page news…

10:27 AM EDT on August 25, 2017

Somebody tell the Chamber of Commerce to open up the press release template. Our status as a big league city continues to evolve before our eyes.

The New York Times published an in-depth report in today's paper about the Oklahoma City syphilis epidemic that's terrorizing opioid users, prostitutes, transients and other future State Fair carnies.

Via The New York Times:

For months, health officials in this socially conservative state capital have been staggered by a fast-spreading outbreak of a disease that, for nearly two decades, was considered all but extinguished.
Syphilis, the deadly sexually transmitted infection that can lead to blindness, paralysis and dementia, is returning here and around the country, another consequence of the heroin and methamphetamine epidemics, as users trade sex for drugs.
To locate possible patients and draw their blood for testing, Oklahoma’s syphilis detectives have been knocking on doors in dilapidated apartment complexes and dingy motels, driving down lonely rural roads and interviewing prison inmates. Syphilis has led them to members of 17 gangs; to drug dealers; to prostitutes, pimps and johns; and to their spouses and lovers, all caught in the disease’s undertow.

Geeze. As if getting businesses to move here wasn't hard enough already. Now we have to deal with a syphilis outbreak being a front page story in the New York Times? Oh well, at least we don't have lead in the drinking water… yet.

So, how do we deal with this bad, negative publicity? I think our best shot is to deny it's happening and just hope it goes away. That seems to be the way to do things now. We can even go all out and get Mayor Mick to send angry tweets to The New York Times:

Actually, that's not a bad idea. We should get Mayor Mick to tweet that. Perhaps Trump will come down here and investigate the issue personally. It would be a great way for him to meet his most ardent supporters.

Editor's Note: For the people who require spoonfeeding, the Mayor Cornett's tweet is fake.