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TLO PSA – Do Not Leave Peanut Butter In The Employee Breakroom

2:47 PM EDT on October 16, 2017

Back when I worked in corporate America, I never left items in the employee break room. Call me an obsessive compulsive paranoid weirdo, but leaving opened food or drink in a dirty fridge where people I either didn't know or didn't like could access it always seemed a bit weird to me.

According to this article on KOCO, it looks like my behavior has been validated. Some employees at an Oklahoma clinic caught a janitor doing inappropriate things to their peanut butter:

A misdemeanor charge has been filed against a custodian caught on camera putting his genitals in a jar of peanut butter while at an Oklahoma City clinic, officials said.

Victims told investigators in mid-September of various incidents in which employees found pubic hairs in their water bottles and peanut butter jars, according to a probable cause affidavit.

Yikes! I've had enough late-night meals at fast food restaurants over the years to know that I have probably eaten a few things in life that I shouldn't have, but that's the risk you take when letting an overworked and underpaid high school dropout with mental issues make you a Mexican pizza at 2:30am. This just crosses a line that shouldn't be crossed.

Here's more:

A victim bought a new jar of peanut butter and used a small amount before placing it in the break room cabinet, the court document said. She then hid a camera in a ceiling tile to record what happened.

On Sept. 15, video footage showed 61-year-old custodian Luiz Medellin take the jar of peanut butter, remove the lid and hold it near his genitals while moving it around, the court documents said. He was then recorded putting the lid back on the jar and placing it back on the counter.

I guess I'll ask the question everyone is thinking - crunchy or creamy? Also, my condolences to all the office workers at this clinic who will never be able to enjoy peanut butter again.

Here's more:

Another video clip from Sept. 13 showed him urinating in a trash bag in the break room, the probable cause affidavit said.

The custodian's boss identified him to investigators. Medellin was a employee of Standard Building Maintenance. OKC Indian Clinic has a contract through SBM to clean their building.

Medellin has been charged with a misdemeanor count of outraging public decency.

I know Oklahoma lawmakers don't like to waste time passing common sense laws, but can we get them to make secretly sticking your dick in someone else's peanut butter a felony offense? You should only be able to do things like that in the privacy of your own home.

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