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Braum’s milkshakes are a good source of protein!

3:00 PM EDT on October 30, 2017

Before we get to our biweekly tradition of poking fun of Braum's, I wanted to give the Braum's family props for making the right decision, caving to public pressure, and abandoning their plans to build a location at Classen Circle. I just assumed they would be greedy dicks and press forward, so kudos to them for doing the right thing. Now the future of the Donnay Building is in the hands of some guy named Josh. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

With that out-of-the-way...

In what can only be construed as an amusing and kind of hysterical ploy to reach health conscious millennials, Braum's has launched a new commercial promoting their "protein rich" line of malts and shakes. Check out this hip new commercial featuring young attractive people who you would never see inside a Braum's:

That's sad on a couple of levels:

First of all, maybe I'm a stickler for tradition, but I prefer my Braum's commercials to feature old timey elevator music and look like they were filmed in the Sears portrait studio in 1989. I don't want to see aspiring actors dancing with their milkshakes. That commercial is way too young and happy and brunette for Braum's. It would be like BC Clark launching a techno version of their Anniversary Sale commercial.

Second, you're really marketing your milkshakes as a good source of protein? That's a reach. I'm sure that will bring-in all the bodybuilders, because nothing is more nutritious and healthy than a milkshake. I bet their next big ad campaign will promote a Braum's banana split as a great source of potassium.

Anyway, I went to the Braum's website to look up the calorie, fat and sugar contents for the shakes, but oddly enough, Braum's doesn't have that available on their website. I then called customer service to see if they could email it to me, but they didn't have it either. I then contacted the old Braum's girl, but she's still recovering from injuries suffered in the tragic semi-accident. I'll let you know if hear anything...

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