Monday Morning Tweets

Howdy pardners! It’s another Monday, so we’ve got tweets for you. I’m typing this up on the early hours of my birthday. Last night, I got dinner with some co-workers and they dragged me out (no pun intended) to the Copa to watch the Sunday night drag show. It was a good enough time, but after a few hours of winding down, I’m in that self-loathing stage of birthday drinking that only comes after slurping down the cheapest gin. So of course, I dragged myself through the reeking coals that is 280-character Twitter to entertain you. Enjoy:

Crazy Car Chase

Friday, a bonkers car chase between police and a man with a stolen truck and trailer tore through the metro. Of course, Twitter had its way with the story:

Don’t fux with Russ

It’s unfortunate that Russell Westbrook wanted to bring some fashion to OKC and we re-paid it with a lunatic trying to ruin people’s lives. But at least when it comes to tarnishing celebrities, we #KeepItLocal.

Mr. Facebook was in town

I hope somebody in the room asked him why we don’t have chronological feeds anymore.

And now a word from our sponsor…

I guess Twitter’s expansion to 240 characters wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Also, where’s the ranch?

Slow Down…

Let’s wait until he can average more than 10 points per game before we start renaming towns willy-nilly…

Girl Power

But what about Sunday?

CFB Round-Up

As if having a top-10 ranked team coming to town and bringing with them the #1 defense in the Big 12, The Sooners found a way to bring the heat. Joining UNC and Michigan as Jordan Jumpman schools is going to be huge for recruiting. What college football has to do with a retired basketball legend is baffling, but supposedly they will only allow one school per conference to have the brand, so if OU can stick it to UT then that’s good enough for me.

I bet if Rodney Anderson’s profile picture were a middle-aged, white, Republican, from Texas he wouldn’t be confused with the starting running back at OU. What’s more surprising is that Representative Anderson owns that Twitter handle.

I know, I know, this is my own Tweet, but when you see the cast of a show you’ve been watching since season one in 2000, you get excited. Normally I would walk past someone famous without having any clue who they were, but when they walk around the beach for 39 days you know what they look like pretty well. Now they wear the right colors to a Sooner Tailgate can you say “Super Fan?”

Let’s get this right. He committed to the Sooners and then de-committed. Committed to the Ducks and then de-committed from them last night after visiting Norman. Is this really a kid Lincoln wants on the squad?

That is roughly 3% of the population of the entire state of Oklahoma that got to see The Sooners in person. If they continue to win, they’ll be in the College Football Playoffs with the likely Heisman Trophy winner, or disappointed, in which case the Poke fans will be elated.

 

When Patrick says that, we can only assume he means the entire state of Oklahoma. To be fair, the Sooners held TCU to two field goals in the second half as the Horny Toads completely shut out OU. The Pokes needed an interception to finish off the Cyclones on the road, so kudos to them. (-Steven)

#OKWX

Great job with the weather machine, I loved all the snow last week!

#OKLEG

Sick burn from a guy who owns a car wash.

Steve Lackmeyer is not a curmudgeon

“They should have left their friends behind. Cuz their friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, well they’re no friends of the Plaza.”

Dear God, Abigail Ogle is going to rule the world someday…

Insert your own joke here.

Dean Blevins Memorial Tweet of the Week featuring Dean Blevins

But you should probably hide them if you see Big Al, Trabes or Dean.