Howdy pardners! It’s another Monday, so we’ve got tweets for you. I’m typing this up on the early hours of my birthday. Last night, I got dinner with some co-workers and they dragged me out (no pun intended) to the Copa to watch the Sunday night drag show. It was a good enough time, but after a few hours of winding down, I’m in that self-loathing stage of birthday drinking that only comes after slurping down the cheapest gin. So of course, I dragged myself through the reeking coals that is 280-character Twitter to entertain you. Enjoy:
Crazy Car Chase
Friday, a bonkers car chase between police and a man with a stolen truck and trailer tore through the metro. Of course, Twitter had its way with the story:
Suspect gets rid of trailer, gets out to cut barbed wire from tires. Chase of the year continues in OKC. pic.twitter.com/5te7q0v1G3
— Rob Perez (@World_Wide_Wob) November 10, 2017
Missed the first half, but here are the second half highlights of the great OKC Car Chase of 2017. Set, naturally, to the Dukes of Hazzard theme. pic.twitter.com/FSFqwbQx41
— Sooner Gridiron (@soonergridiron) November 10, 2017
omfg what an ending
Wildlife Warden forces truck into pond
POND FOOT PURSUIT
It’s going down IM YELLING TIMBER pic.twitter.com/hnEbyOQx7F
— Rob Perez (@World_Wide_Wob) November 10, 2017
— #PettyWarz 👀 (@PettyWarz) November 10, 2017
Watching this live car chase on @NEWS9 has me wondering if the other people on the highway don’t know about the new “left hand lane for passing only” law. Some of these police chasing the truck should be ticketing those other drivers! 😂🚗🚙🚚🚓🚓🚓 pic.twitter.com/dCqYjuDbMI
— Bryan Hooks (@Hooksdaddy21) November 10, 2017
Don’t fux with Russ
While at @russwest44 pop up shop, this guy had been harassing fans on his bike. Before this video he punched the kid thru his car window while at a stop light. The driver pulls into Shell & the dude tries to steal it! Russ’ body guards are who took care of him. He was arrested 😳 pic.twitter.com/o0YUnGDb2K
— Skylar Abernathy (@SkyAbernathy) November 11, 2017
It’s unfortunate that Russell Westbrook wanted to bring some fashion to OKC and we re-paid it with a lunatic trying to ruin people’s lives. But at least when it comes to tarnishing celebrities, we #KeepItLocal.
Mr. Facebook was in town
— Plaza District (@plazadistrict) November 9, 2017
I hope somebody in the room asked him why we don’t have chronological feeds anymore.
And now a word from our sponsor…
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— Hideaway Pizza 🍕 (@hideawaypizza) November 12, 2017
I guess Twitter’s expansion to 240 characters wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Also, where’s the ranch?
Duncan, Oklahoma should rename itself Jerami Grant
— champagne mami 🍾 (@thegracegordon) November 11, 2017
Let’s wait until he can average more than 10 points per game before we start renaming towns willy-nilly…
— Markie Martin (@KOCOmarkie) November 7, 2017
But what about Sunday?
Joining the Jumpman team like Michigan and North Carolina the Oklahoma Sooners are now a Jordan Brand school for both football and basketball! The logo is set to debut sports uniforms at the start of the 2018-19 season pic.twitter.com/98KNn9TGWj
— Renaissauced (@renaissauced) November 10, 2017
As if having a top-10 ranked team coming to town and bringing with them the #1 defense in the Big 12, The Sooners found a way to bring the heat. Joining UNC and Michigan as Jordan Jumpman schools is going to be huge for recruiting. What college football has to do with a retired basketball legend is baffling, but supposedly they will only allow one school per conference to have the brand, so if OU can stick it to UT then that’s good enough for me.
So the #Sooners have a great running back who scored 4 TD’s yesterday. For the record…it wasn’t me…my apologies for the confusion.
— Rodney Anderson (@rodneyanderson) November 12, 2017
I bet if Rodney Anderson’s profile picture were a middle-aged, white, Republican, from Texas he wouldn’t be confused with the starting running back at OU. What’s more surprising is that Representative Anderson owns that Twitter handle.
— Steve"SuperSmartAss" (@SuperSmartAss) November 12, 2017
I know, I know, this is my own Tweet, but when you see the cast of a show you’ve been watching since season one in 2000, you get excited. Normally I would walk past someone famous without having any clue who they were, but when they walk around the beach for 39 days you know what they look like pretty well. Now they wear the right colors to a Sooner Tailgate can you say “Super Fan?”
— DeepfriedSooner (@DeepfriedSooner) November 12, 2017
Let’s get this right. He committed to the Sooners and then de-committed. Committed to the Ducks and then de-committed from them last night after visiting Norman. Is this really a kid Lincoln wants on the squad?
Largest crowd ever to see a sporting event in the state of Oklahoma: 88,308. #Sooners
— John E. Hoover (@johnehoover) November 12, 2017
That is roughly 3% of the population of the entire state of Oklahoma that got to see The Sooners in person. If they continue to win, they’ll be in the College Football Playoffs with the likely Heisman Trophy winner, or disappointed, in which case the Poke fans will be elated.
OKST with the INT against Texas in OT to win that game and now the INT late against Iowa State to win this game. Who says the Pokes don't play defense?
Okay, they don't.
— Patrick Schmidt (@PatrickASchmidt) November 11, 2017
When Patrick says that, we can only assume he means the entire state of Oklahoma. To be fair, the Sooners held TCU to two field goals in the second half as the Horny Toads completely shut out OU. The Pokes needed an interception to finish off the Cyclones on the road, so kudos to them. (-Steven)
— Cassie (@CassieHeiter) November 7, 2017
Great job with the weather machine, I loved all the snow last week!
Just catching up on some emails. A tip of the cap to this concerned Oklahoman. He makes a good point. pic.twitter.com/UEyENK87K3
— Rep. Forrest Bennett (@ForrestBennett) November 10, 2017
Sick burn from a guy who owns a car wash.
Listening to house members who have been in office FOR YEARS say we don’t need revenue because there is waste that needs to be stopped. Why have they not stopped it already? pic.twitter.com/yysY0mkZXb
— Greg McCortney (@gmccortney) November 8, 2017
Based on wording, if I follow this campaign, I think I'll be Oklahoma's next Governor. pic.twitter.com/o1ydE5Z6ZR
— Kasey Boes (@KaseyBoes) November 8, 2017
— Amanda Kerri on my wayward son… (@Amanda_Kerri) November 9, 2017
It’s funny how State Rep Michael Rogers passed me going 90mph yesterday to rush to OKC to not do his job. Your tag says “H-98” bro.
— Mark Seibold (@seibold) November 8, 2017
Why in the world would I need more characters on Twitter?
— Deborah Gist (@deborahgist) November 8, 2017
Steve Lackmeyer is not a curmudgeon
Only in @plazadistrict can I arrive in any given day and see young people dancing on the Plaza just because they can. Ordinary awesome.
— Steve's OKC Central (@stevelackmeyer) November 11, 2017
“They should have left their friends behind. Cuz their friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, well they’re no friends of the Plaza.”
Dear God, Abigail Ogle is going to rule the world someday…
HAPPY BDAY, MVP!
Let me tell you how I first met Russ— He and his bro introduced themselves to me many years ago on sidelines of an OU game. I was a new, nervous, sweaty reporter/photog carrying a HUGE camera. They were so kind… made me feel IMPORTANT.
(Pic from 5 yrs ago) pic.twitter.com/4lfSDrrv3u
— Abigail Ogle (@KOCOAbigail) November 12, 2017
Insert your own joke here.
Dean Blevins Memorial Tweet of the Week featuring Dean Blevins
Alert: Kyle Singler sighting. And no, u dont need to have to hide the women and kids — regardless what Big Al & Trabes say! He scores! @news9
— Dean Blevins (@DeanBlevins) November 13, 2017
But you should probably hide them if you see Big Al, Trabes or Dean.