The Oklahoman’s coverage of Beaux Arts Ball is more out of touch with society than ever…

As you know, it kind of sucks to live in Oklahoma right now. Well, that is unless you’re a generationally wealthy member of the Oklahoma ruling class. Then it’s still a fun, decent place where you can have a ball!

We were reminded of this in the “Life” section of Sunday’s Oklahoman. Helen Ford Wallace – the paper’s society / elites editor –  recapped the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club’s Beaux Arts Ball. It’s an annual event where wealthy people who are out-of-touch with normal reality flaunt their children who won the birth lottery.

Here is Helen’s description of the event:

Occasion: It was a royal evening at the Oklahoma City Golf & Country Club last weekend. Beaux Arts Ball Chairman Susan Jordan and her committee, working with The Fleuriste Florist, went for colors of purple, red, chartreuse, fuchsia and gold. About 600 guests came into the Country Club under a curtain of sparkling white lights.

Presentation: G. Rainey Williams Jr. was introduced as King of the Ball. His identity was kept secret from the crowd until he appeared. He was escorted by four young pages. Former kings were introduced, as well as escorts for the ball. Debutantes were presented by their fathers through a floral purple drapery that featured a gilded crown emblem. Swags of floral and greenery hung from the ceiling, as well as large glass orbs and spheres filled with roses.

Before we continue, I should probably point out Oklahoma was recently named No. 1 in the nation for education funding cuts. It’s the fourth year in a row we’ve held this honor. But don’t worry. Most, if not all, of the debutantes, escorts, pages and other participants in the event go to private schools like Heritage Hall and Casady, so those cuts not only don’t affect them, but also help keep them on top.

Here’s more about the event, including the breakdown of the extravagant decorations, artwork and dinner:

Room to bloom: Centerpieces on the tables were Vanda orchids, Phalaenopsis orchids, tulips, hydrangeas and roses topped with a crown. The debutantes carried nosegays of red roses and purple Vanda orchids. The escorts and dads wore purple Vanda orchid boutonnieres.

Nosegays? I thought those flowers were banned by the Oklahoma legislature in 2014.

Museum worthy: The 16 paintings on display were by Russia’s Boris Chekov from Susan and Peter Hoffman’s private collection. The paintings, which added to the ambiance of the regal rooms for the royal court, were displayed on royal purple drapery.

Whew. It’s a good thing they didn’t slum up the place with Oklahoma art. It’s nice of them to honor Donald Trump with the Russian art collection. Maybe they can send him a debutant or two as a special gift.

Dinner/dance: On the dinner menu was limestone Bibb salad, Cajun spiced filet of beef, barbecue sea bass, Italian cream and chocolate mini bundt cakes with gold colored chocolate crowns. The orchestra was Dave and The Wavetones.

What?! No truffle oil-infused garlic twice baked potatoes!? This year’s debutantes got screwed! Also, what’s a limestone Bibb salad? I missed that the last time I took my grandpa to Western Sizzlin. It sounds like something the Rockman from The Never-Ending Story would bring to a dinner party at the princess’s palace in Fantasia.

At this point, the article includes the names of all the Beaux Arts Ball participants. The last names are a collection of the who’s-who of the Oklahoma City ruling class. Basically, it’s the same group of people who choose our disastrous politicians, craft our disastrous policies and sit court side at disastrous Thunder games. You can see the full list here if you want.

Anyway, I don’t have a problem with rich people doing rich people things. That’s been a norm since the beginning of civilization. I guess my question is why does The Oklahoman have to rub it in our faces in the “Life” section? If they really want to cover Oklahoma “life” and “society,” they should profile a graduation dinner at Texas Road House or a bake sale at a small church on the southside that raises money to help people in need.

Also, I’m sure some person is going to leave some comment that says something like “Yeah, but the Beaux Arts Ball benefits a charity so it’s fine.” Bullshit. If this was a charitable event they’d take that money spent on Phalaenopsis orchids, barbecue sea bass and who knows what else and give it to charity. Events like this is the ruling class’ of way of reminding themselves that they’re better you, and the local newspaper shouldn’t help them do it.