5 roles Reba McEntire could play better than Colonel Sanders

When the advertisement aired before this year’s Super Bowl, many people were surprised. Oklahomans, however, got a particular shiver up their spines – our own Reba McEntire was Colonel Sanders! Yes, the famous crusty old white-haired dude who built an empire massacring and frying plump chickens was now played as one of our favorite spitfire country singers.

Following in the footsteps of names like Norm McDonald, Billy Zane, and Ray Liotta, Reba is the most recent celebrity to put on the black glasses and white mustache/goatee, and vaguely yet comedically perform as the old-fashioned fast food pioneer. Although there might be better ways to steer a company which relied upon advertising featuring a man who looked like a plantation owner, KFC would prefer to roast their own founder, who died in 1980, by replacing him with a cavalcade of goofy actors.

Now that the pride of McAlester has donned the ivory wig, we’d like to give some appreciation to Reba’s acting career, and suggest some other roles that she would be better at:

-Mary Fallin

I feel awful comparing the two, especially since Reba is universally beloved, and Mary is… well…

But if you gave Reba a blonde dye job and let the roots grow in, and squinted a little.. The resemblance is there. Plus, they’re only like a year away in age. A decade from now, when the rest of the county is scrambling to find out why all of America has turned into Oklahoma, PBS will be cranking out the Fallin biopic.

-Ronald McDonald

If we’re gonna have Reba as the spokesperson for a major fast food chain, let’s at least have her play a redhead.

-Hellraiser

We’ve been telling you for a few years now about the tenth installment of the Hellraiser series, which was filmed in Oklahoma. Apparently, it’s finally been released, and it sounds as bad as anyone would have guessed.

Obviously, there’s no reason to cast Reba as one of the horrifying demons from beyond. But if we’re talking remake, she could totally play the role of Julia Cotton, the horny and widowed step-mother who ends up helping to summon all of the horrifying demons. I really don’t think she’d be into playing this role, but we’ll also probably never see another good Hellraiser movie, so can’t we dream?

-The Pioneer Woman

Sure, Reba’s got some years on Ree Drummond. Maybe instead of having Reba portray Drummond, what we do is have a Pioneer Woman sitcom. Reba obviously already has a lot of experience with this kind of programming, so she’d fit right in. If any producers out there want to option this, I’ve got dibs, so here’s the pitch that is only very loosely based on the real story, which means it will work for network television:

Dree Rummond (Christina Hendricks), a popular food blogger from New York City, moves back home to live with her mother (Reba McEntire) in rural Oklahoma. While dealing with the culture shock that comes along with rodeos and calf fries, Dree rediscovers her country roots, while chasing the mysterious Marlboro Man (Jon Hamm).

Dunno about you, but I’d watch the hell out of that show!

-Tremors

Look, there were six movies in the Tremors series, plus a short-lived television series, but nobody remembers any of this except for the first film. Obviously, other than the creatures, the only memorable parts were Kevin Bacon and Reba McEntire.

The world was robbed of another film where Reba reprised her role as Heather Gummer, the paranoid survivalist who helps to fight the terrifying Graboid sandworms that bring destruction to the denizens of Nevada. In this day and age, her character could develop into an Infowars-consuming truther, who believes that the monsters are all a huge liberal conspiracy.

What are we missing? There’s so many more roles for Reba. Let us know what you wanna see in the comments.