Porn Star Nicknames for Oklahoma Lawmakers

The state of Oklahoma is getting so repeatedly schtupped by our brazen lawmakers that they might as well turn on a video camera, record it and sell it down at DW’s in Texas for drifters, lonely truckers and other people who haven’t heard of the Internet.

To help our lawmakers get started on this endeavor, Patrick and I came up with a list of possible porn star stage names for Oklahoma lawmakers. At the very least, Oklahoma students and teachers will know how to address letters as they continue to take a pounding in the classroom:

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Real Name: Charles McCall

Porn Star Name: Chucky McBalls

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Real Name: Jason Dunnington

Porn Star Name: Jack Bearington

Real Name: Randy Bass

Porn Star Name: Grandy Ass

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Real Name: Carol Bush

Porn Star Name: Carrie N. Bush

Real Name: Josh Breechen

Porn Star Name: Jack Breacher

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Real Name: Jason Murphey

Porn Star name: Private Stickey

Real Name: J.J. Dossett

Porn Star Name: J.J. Duzzitt

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Real Name: Elise Hall

Porn Star Name: Hot Wife Chloe

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Real Name: Scott Inman

Porn Star Name: Scooter Inaman

Real Name: Lonnie Paxton

Porn Star Name: Lonnie Packin’

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Real Name: Kevin Matthews

Porn Name: Uncle Bendover

Real Name: Mike Ritze

Porn Star Name: Professor Cloitus

Real Name: Rhonda Baker

Porn Star Name: Ginger Pearlz

Real Name: Dave Rader

Porn Star Name: Dave Azzraider

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Real Name: Emily Virgin

Porn Star Name: Emily Virgin

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Real Name: Darcy Jeck

Porn Star Name: Darcy Jerken

Real Name: Donnie Condit

Porn Name: Dumbo Spankadocious

Did your favorite Oklahoma lawmaker not make the list? Give us your porn star names in the comments.