Ahhh, prom… A night full of pulsing hormones, awkwardly-fitted rental clothes, and drinking vodka out of a water bottle in the school parking lot. Memories were made, relationships sealed, and pre-marital pregnancies formed on these iconic nights of our youth.
Or so I hear. I was suspended from school when I was a junior and not allowed to go to any school functions, and when my senior prom rolled around I had zero interest in attending. But apparently, it’s always been a pretty important rite of passage for American youth. Hell, even some of my skater trash friends went (and one of them had the style to win ‘Best Dressed’ for his homemade baby blue suit and hair dyed to match).
The ultimate power move would be to show up with a total baddie as your date. The hottest person in your class was probably off-limits, especially if you were a bridge troll geek like me. Many kids would fantasize about bringing their celeb crush, and its way more attainable in this modern age of social access, when you can ask for enough retweets and maybe have your dream come true.
A Tulsa student may get to live out her fantasy, albeit three years late:
— Steven Adams (@RealStevenAdams) February 19, 2018
That’s so sweet, Steven Adams is the nicest g- wait a minute. LAW SCHOOL PROM? Is that a real thing? I don’t remember there being a prom in normal college, so I don’t see why they’d have one at fancy schools with even creepier secret societies.
My next question was if Steven Adams even knew what prom was, but according to Wikipedia, formal balls are common in New Zealand. Maybe they call it something else down under, and “prom” is actually a slang for some kind of horrible sexual act that doesn’t warrant mention in a family blog such as this. Eventually, somebody clued him into what it meant and he had a change of heart, years later.
Either way, it’s too little too late cuz the tweeter has already graduated from law school:
Haha nope, but we can have a Lawyer Prom 😂
— Lo (@itsloyo) February 20, 2018
A Lawyer Prom sounds like a horrible social event, and I will pray my empty prayers that my favorite hairy big boy Steven Adams will not be forced to attend such an event. Even if the food is good, the schmoozing must be unbearable. Steven, if you’re listening: claim I’m your tailor, put me on a 3-way call, and I will lie and pretend like I didn’t have enough of that white Italian linen that I needed to make your prom suit. Or whatever other kind of excuse you want to concoct. I’ll get you out of this, just hit me up.
Anyways, who is your Oklahoma Dream Prom Date? It could be from when you were in high school, or now, but let us know who you’d bring to your imaginary prom in the comment section below: