Monday Morning Tweets

April 16, 2018
6 Comments
by Lucas

Howdy, pardners! Obviously, the weather here is always overstated, but this last weekend was a gauntlet of awful meteorological phenomena. We always exaggerate when it goes from hot to cold to kill storms, but that was just ridiculous:

#OKWX

I met a guest at my workplace on Thursday who was from out-of-town and visiting Oklahoma throughout the weekend on a journey to visit all 50 states. I hope she packed literally every outfit to be prepared for our weather, because that’s what it takes to come here.

It’s like when you used to look through the TV Guide and look for late night movies with designations like ‘Adult Language’ and ‘Sexual Situations’ and you’d get the whole list.

Man if Braum’s is keeping you here it’s time to start apartment shopping in Texas or something.

The smoke was so awful here in the metro, I can’t imagine what it was like where the fires were concentrated. Our weather takes so many tragic turns, and its messed up that on top of tornadoes and earthquakes and hail and everything else that we also gotta worry about massive fires, but that’s Oklahoma. Here’s to hoping all those affected by last week’s wildfires can bounce back soon.

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Our teachers aren’t paid enough, etc

Our feed has been flooded with teacher walk-out stuff lately, so we’ll keep it minimal for today’s MMT. Let’s just think about how it was played up in the media that’s it was so cute that this kid is using a textbook that was published in 1980. Anyone who isn’t outraged about this probably hasn’t read a book since they were in school around that same time period.

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What is art, baby don’t hurt me

If half-painted chairs spaced ten feet apart are art, welcome to my living room. Don’t mind the dirty dishes…

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And now a word from our sponsor…

Considering Oklahoma is the world’s number one producer of blustery days, don’t you think we should have a larger kite industry? Maybe we should use the credits we’ve been using to build new windmills and make a kite factory and testing facility. The Oil Overlords would love it, and I bet we can get Hideaway to buy the naming rights. -\

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Journalism is a noble profession

It’s incredible that after several years of being a trusted local news source, The Lost Ogle has never received a single angry letter, note, or phone call. Please do not question this claim, it is as true as anything else in 2018.

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Midwest City is lit

“Get Aiden and Jayden and Crowley in the PT Cruiser and get them to soccer practice in time, Brandi!” -Guy who is married to that person I went to high school with.

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#ThunderUp

Brian Davis said something racist on the last game of the regular season…

Days without national embarrassment: 0
I get it, he’s 100. When his poor, old, sweet mother used to have a flip out, instead of dropping a myriad of sailor bombs like my mother would, she would use this 1880’s phrase. Yes, you have to be PC in 2018, but you are the voice of the Thunder. You cannot say an African-American player, or anyone really, is out of his “Cotton picking mind.” Even more so when he is the marquee player. Brian’s lucky it is just a one-game suspension. (-Steven)

Like good front men, they said what you expect they would. They were probably more annoyed they had to even make some sort of public comment. If professional basketball  players got flummoxed at everything they heard on the court, they’d never be worth anything until they got to Salt Lake City. (-Steven)

It’s a good thing that the Thunder is taking a stand against BD’s comments when they are so clearly devoted to diversity in the workplace of the entire organization…

While we’re talking about the Thunder’s problems with representation, let’s bring up their environmental sustainability- I bet they wasted a whole ream of paper due to this typeface calamity.

To finish out this controversy, there’s obviously plenty of offensive shit going down on Fox SW. There is no place for Will Smith in this modern society, we should move on.

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Russell Westbrook is officially post-shirt, and we’re all here for it…

Rest In Power, shirts.

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I still think about that every day too, but I don’t dress like I’m doing cosplay Lumberjack Backstreet Boy…

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I’m fearful that both KD and Harden will win rings before Westbrook, but I’m also trying to make myself emotionally ready for the idea that Westbrook could be this generation’s Allen Iverson, or Charles Barkley. Yeah, obviously we want a championship in OKC, but there’s something to be said about the legacy of a GOAT who just never made it happen. It’s human and relatable, and I will stan for Russ no matter what happens in his career (unless he goes to a better team, and in that case he’s dead to me).

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V inspiring to see everyone wearing the same XXL shirt all at once. If you sit in Loud City, there is the incredible experience of hearing white people get vocally upset every time the ball is turned over.

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Steve Lackmeyer is a Curmudgeon

This feature should really just be renamed “Lucas is Actually Just Steve Lackmeyer” becuz these are the questions that I grapple with every day. Is it as creepy to be a single adult male at a dog park as it is at a children’s playground? We just wanna watch the good doggos do good things.

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Dear God, Abigail Ogle is going to rule the world someday…

Granddad Burns Ogle sounds like a nice name for a Bluegrass or honky tonk band.

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I bet Dean would like it if the people who made baskets and passed the ball would find time to learn our language.

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