To outsiders, Oklahoma is just a boring flyover state. In the public consciousness, our soup pan-shaped state is a rural dump stuck in the 1890’s, populated with conservative hillbillies who think every baby should be born with a gun and a bible, and they better not be gay babies neither.
The public consciousness might actually be correct on that indictment, but there’s a good chance if you’re reading this right now, you’re not well represented by the backwards thinking politicians who dominate our portrayal in the national news. There’s actually a wealth of diversity here, at least if you know how to look for it.
Here are 5 of the most intriguing subcultures here in Oklahoma City. We’re just scraping the surface here, so let us know who we’re leaving out in the comments below!
Hefner yacht club
The magnetic pull of water is innate to humankind. That’s why we manufacture lakes where they don’t belong- we wanna swim and ride jet-skis. It is a bit weird, however, that all these rich dudes decided to buy really fancy boats for a tiny lake in OKC. Why are they spending so much money to do laps past Louie’s On the Lake? Get a pontoon and take it out to a respectable body of water like Lake Eufala, or even Draper. So many questions.
This seems like well-worn territory for TLO, but have you ever thought about how weird our weatherpeople in Oklahoma are? Let’s work from the top down: the television personalities tend to be jocks (triatheletes or bodybuilders). The people doing all the real heavy-lifting work at the National Weather Service, and they’re probably all nerds because who else would dedicate their lives to learning about clouds. And then you have the storm chasers, who are the whacked-out weirdos that are dedicated to driving around in the middle of tornadoes. Basically, it’s a profession that manages to be a cross-section of high school.
Coyote Ugly Employees
Did you know Oklahoma City still has a Coyote Ugly? It’s in Bricktown located next to Blockbuster and the Hornets team apparel shop. The members of this subculture dance on bars and pour shots for guys from Moore who have tribal tattoos. They’re very mysterious.
23rd Street entertainers
Are you looking for a mime who does basketball tricks? What about a wicked puppeteer? If those aren’t your scene, you might find a guy next to Byron’s Liquor selling pencil drawings of Johnny Depp from ‘Pirates of the Caribbean.’ From I-235 to Pennsylvania Avenue, 23rd street will keep you entertained on your commute, just please cough up a few bucks for these hard working people of the street.
OKC Zoo Meerkats
These obnoxious creatures spend their days making fun of awkwardly dressed zoo patrons pushing strollers across the zoo grounds, and their nights making love.
Old men smoking outside of Lee’s Sandwiches
It doesn’t matter what hour of the day you visit, you are guaranteed to witness a group of old Vietnamese men loitering outside Lee’s Sandwiches. Most of them will be smoking, and they may be playing some kind of game on the patio. Are they gambling? What do they do for the rest of the day? They could be doing anything but they choose to while away the hours outside a sandwich shop. I feel like there is much to learn from these men.
Edmond moms allergic to everything
As a longtime former employee of Whole Foods, I can attest that approximately 63% of Edmond is allergic to everything. On a typical Tuesday morning, there are at least a dozen Edmonites in the store at any given time, shopping for their children Ayden, Brayden, Jaeden, and Stapp. Their mother will be very upfront informing every employee that her children are somehow all allergic to wheat, eggs, soybeans, and seemingly everything potable except for triple-filtered artesian water and quinoa. What is it about Edmond genetics that makes their children so weak that only the most expensive and bland foods will shield them from breaking out into hives?