Perhaps more than most other flyover states, Oklahoma is home to quite a few successful homegrown fast-food chains that, while many of us proudly frequent on a daily basis, we tend to do so while muttering a long string of obscenities under our breath at the same time.
Be it complacently, ignorance or just plain laziness, the big five—Braum’s, Taco Bueno, Mazzio’s, Taco Mayo and Sonic—do have their major problems that tend to make visiting their stores an unbearable experience at times, one that we tend to commiserate over while eating our meals there, natch.
If I could, I would really love to sit down with each CEO—free of charge—and tell them to their faces exactly what their restaurant’s problems are, but until they start taking my phone calls, maybe a cool nephew or an informed secretary will send them this piece on how I would fix Oklahoma 5 biggest fast-food chains.
_
Braum’s
For the most part, I think we can all agree that Braum’s food—short-shrifting burgers aside—isn’t really all that bad. From the sturdy crinkle cuts and crispy chicken tenders to their numerous flavors of locally-made ice creams, everyone has their favorite Braum’s meal. It’s once you get the food, however, where the problem starts: the drink area with errant lids and straws strewn about and ice melting on the floor, the spattered ketchup that has been left to crust and congeal and, after all that, good luck trying to find a clean table. What is it about Braum’s and their inability to maintain a clean store? If I were in charge, I would have each store hire one person per shift whose job it is to do nothing but wipe down tables, condiments and so on. That seems logical, right?
_
Taco Bueno
Although not an Oklahoma-owned chain, it might as well be. Taco Bueno is usually comprised of above-the-bar fast eats that, as an Okie, we’re practically ingrained to crave. My main problem with the Bueno, however, is the staff: nearly every franchise and store I have been into, I always seem to be walking into the middle of a vicious crew argument that embarrassingly keeps going throughout the entire customer process during nearly every visit. It’s truly awkward to stand there and have your order brusquely taken—just try using a coupon or asking for the special—and then stand their watching your order angrily thrown together by people who can’t work out there issue on their own time. If I were in charge, I would develop a course in mediation training for managers to be required to take so crew deviations are nipped in the bug quickly and quietly. Can we shake on it?
_
Mazzio’s
The food at Mazzio’s, in my opinion, is not very good. In fact, I find it to be absolutely terrible. From the destitute salad bar to the limp pizza offerings, if there is one place that is in need of a menu overhaul, especially on its famed “endless” lunch buffet, it’s Mazzio’s. With so many other pizza buffets—many at a far cheaper price, mind you—out there, it’s time the ‘Zo’s step up their all you can eat game and fast. If I were in charge, I would bring in a specially trained pizza chef from Brooklyn, possibly named Tony or Sal, to not change the menu per se, but instead help to create a better version of the product they already have, starting with getting rid of that horrid saltine cracker pizza crust. That may get me to call 799-9999 again.
_
Taco Mayo
I don’t know about you, but I tend to forget that Taco Mayo even exists anymore. As a matter of fact, until I pass by it while driving down Classen, for example, it doesn’t even register in my mind anymore as a viable lunch option. Remember back in the 90s, however, when their advertisements were practically omnipresent and the catchphrase “Taco Mayo me, baby!” was on everybody’s lips? Think about it…when was the last time you even saw a Taco Mayo commercial? If I were in charge, I would bring back that stellar catchphrase for a whole new generation, in a whole new ad campaign that screams “Hey, we’re Taco Mayo and we’re still here! And we’ve got a salsa bar, bro!”
_
Sonic
Most hot Oklahoma afternoons, nothing sounds better than a half-priced Rt. 44 Diet Dr. Pepper with crushed ice, am I right? But, then again, most afternoons, after rushing across town, by the time you make it Sonic for their so-called “Happy Hour,” it’s five minutes past four and you’ve got to pay full price, at which point you just might has well go across the street to OnCue. Seriously, Sonic… who considers “Happy Hour” from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. besides kids getting out of school and the soccer moms who placate them? If I were in charge, I would move happy hour to 4 p.m. to 6 p.m., so hard-working ham and eggers like you and me don’t have to rush and can actually take advantage of this great deal for once in our hot, thirsty lives.
_
Follow Louis on Twitter at @LouisFowler and Instagram at @louisfowler78.
Believe it or not, happy hour at Sonic is a thing on the weekends for the “ham and eggers”. Check it out.
Funny but not really true for the most part.
Braums needs to put their nutrition info back on their menu boards. And they need better graphic designers. Their advertising reminds me of bad PowerPoint layouts.
Oh, and they need to learn how the two window drive thru system works. Our local Braums has rarely used the second window since their remodel years ago, instead sticking to completing one order before even taking the next one. Once the order is competed, you better have four arms to catch your change and your order at the same time.
Truth. I worked at one and the back window is open maybe 4 hours out of the whole day. But it’s not designed correctly to run just one window. There is only one register which pretty much makes it so you can only do one order at a time.
Sonic’s Happy Hour is your complaint? How about mentioning how sucky the food has become?
It seems the more money they spend on TV commercials the worse the food gets.
Dry, stale buns, hockey puck patties, limp produce, cold fries….. the only thing worth ordering is the soda.
Not to mention the fact that some of the stores charge you for a cheeseburger when you order a hamburger (no cheese).
Sonic has chucked out quailty control in it’s effort to compete with other chains and lost everything that made it special in the first place.
Sonic was the shit circa 1980.
oneda got it right on the food in the 70s into the 80s was great remember the old chilli cheese coneys homemade onion rings!! the food now is very bad wont eat at sonic any more crap!!
Don’t forget how much more expensive the food has become.
The floats have to be included in the ‘half-price after 8’ special because a large float (aka a small glob of ice cream + fountain soda) is now about $5.
Better off just going to OnCue or Quicktrip for their 99 cent drinks all the time than waiting on Sonic’s “happy hour.” For the truly frugal you can do the 79 cent 44 ounce drink at Circle K. This race to the bottom of the fast food places will probably mean more will be closing down. They are not going to be able to survive if most of their customers are shopping the loss leader dollar menu.
It’s pretty hard to have any quality when you are trying to sell at the absolute lowest price plus the franchise fees Sonic.
Bring back the Super Burger from the late 70s. Damn fine eating if you don’t care for yourself. I was in my teens. I didn’t give a shit.
U r right, the one on 39 st. East of meridian sucks, I work there in sixties and remember bob. T and Troy coming by, there is no way they would have allow serving such bad food
Step up Louis start your own restaurant, start small and with your expertise and work ethic the sky’s the limit. Get ur dun Bro.
I never quite understood the Mazzios hate until I ate at one in Oklahoma City last month. God was it horrible. The difference between the Mazzios in OKC and Tulsa is almost night and day. Well, it’s still not great pizza in Tulsa, so maybe more like night and about an hour before sunrise.
I used to “like” Mazzios in the late 90’s early 2000’s, but something has happened. I went to one and the pepperoni tasted liked it was stored in a hobo’s shoe and the black olives appeared to be throw aways from the dumpster of the local Crest.
Taco Mayo? Why on earth, when you could get Taco Bueno instead?
I could live happily on a diet of nothing but Sonic’s sausage breakfast burritos.
Cut Sonic some slack on their version of “happy hour.” It creates traffic in mid-afternoon when business is slowest, and they only make 200% profit on half-price drinks instead of the usual 500%. (No, that isn’t a typo or math error. Think about it.)
Did Sonic ever come up with a way to add a tip to your bill when you pay with a card?
Here’s an honest question. Minimum wage for waitstaff is $2.13/hour but if they do not get enough in tips to make minimum wage ($7.25/hour). Does Sonic pay its carhops like waitstaff, or like regular employees. Put differently, am I expected to tip someone for walking 10-30 feet with my order?
I’m all for generous tips for a waitperson at a sit-down restaurant. I am just always unsure at Sonic. I usually try to go through the drive-thru to avoid this moral quandry.
Quandary. Sorry, that was me being a PITA…
I always tip at Sonic because I know that the servers depend on tips to live. No moral quandary there at all.
Sonic could make their staff’s lives easier if customers could put tips on their credit/debit cards.
Exactly. The only reason I hardly ever tip there is because I always pay with a card and almost never carry cash.
Oooooor they could start paying their employees decent wages themselves instead of expecting customers to foot the bill. Of course that will never happen though.
That’s my basic question. Are they paid straight hourly or are they paid as waitstaff with expectation of receiving tips?
Surely there is a former carhop here somewhere who can tell us.
Braum’s IS always so dirty…we seldom go inside except to shop and then leave…never could figure out why no one was wiping down tables, etc.?
Taco Mayo also needs to allow their TVs to move off of Fox News if requested.
AMEN!
All the places mentioned used to be good but now are complete s… holes.,
The last time I went to Sonic I ordered a burger with out cheese and got a bun with a meat patty and nothing else. No mayo,mustard, tomato or lettuce. The tater tots tasted like they had been deep fried in motor oil and the drink I got tasted like it had been diluted with dish water,yuck what a waste of time and money.
Braums used to have a great burger but now, they are horrible, and the fries are like mush. I used to eat lunch at the 39th and Penn store almost every day but it’s gotten so bad the only thing I buy there is their milk and ice cream. Let’s don’t even talk about Taco Mayo or Mazzio’s they were always below average. Even Johnnies doesn’t measure up anymore .
Wishing for the Split T to make a rebirth, they always were the best.
Like Sonic ice? Trying buying a bag of it and then taking a big whiff. Fryer grease gets EVERYWHERE dudes.
Braum’s stores look like a pig sty. The food service areas are bad…but their flagship ice cream bars are deplorable. How can the heart and sole of their corporate center piece be allowed to kept in such filthy conditions ?
How the stores pass state/city health inspections escapes me. It is pretty obvious that internal corporate standards for cleanliness don’t exist, are not enforced and are not a viable component of their corporate business model.
One can only hope that Braum’s creamery facilitates are cleaner…but I am beginning to wonder.
calling card of the older braums stores is their broken bent up metal blinds