5 More Oklahoma House Incumbents Who Don’t Deserve Re-Election

Due an overwhelming vote of confidence, I feel the love of fellow Oglers and am honored to present five more Oklahoma House incumbents who do not deserve to be re-elected.

These clueless clowns are a bit down in the dumps because they weren’t selected during round one, so to assuage their hurt feelings, I am donating $4 each to their hopeless pursuit of another two-year term in office. If my math works, and it probably doesn’t because I was the Appropriations Committee Chair when I was in the legislature, $5 X $4 = $20, which is what Patrick promised me to pen this punditry. Feeling insulted by such a pittance after living off lobbyist largess for decades, I told him to spend it instead on pablum for Juniorette. With our tax code I’m sure I can deduct it anyway. Not the kid. The pablum.

1. Jeff “Fire At Will Or Anyone Else” Coody (R), Grandfield

“Stick Em Up” Jeff is the proud father, via the National Rifle Association’s latest wet dream, of something titled “The Oklahoma 2018 right to carry, concealed or otherwise, almost anywhere, anytime, any age, any IQ, except in the state capitol building” law. Brilliant. I guess it’s too dangerous already in The People’s Building populated by old white men dragging around colostomy bags. The last thing they need are guns. Thanks Jeff.

Therefore Oglers, do your duty
Don’t vote for Coody
But if you must, and then get mugged
Be thankful you weren’t also plugged.

Footnote: Under pressure from a bunch of rich, white chamber guys in OKC and Tulsa, Governor Fallin packed her pistol, pulled out her diamond encrusted B.C. Clark pen and vetoed the damn thing.

2. Tom Gann (R), Inola

Tom prides himself on being a CPA. No not that kind, but a Certified Public A-Wad. To confirm for yourself, watch him on tape at a Tea Party dumb-off with Goober Candidate Gary Richardson and soon to be no longer Representative John Bennett. They make Sally Kern sound like Mother Teresa.

Because this green eye shade guy claims to be able to add and subtract, he was assigned to determine whether the State Health Department had stupidly, wantonly, purposefully and with malice afterthought, squandered $30-million of taxpayer cash. It turns out – they didn’t. They just hid it well. This went over Gann’s head and the legislature doled out $30-million more to the agency. Obvious conclusion – Tom doesn’t know shit from Inola.

3. Kevin McDugle (R), Broken Arrow

By coincidence, living arrangements and elections, Broken Arrow is also home to made up purple heart recipient Dr Mike Ritze. With a community populated by super smart refugees from Tulsa, what are the odds of it sending both of these goofs down the Turner at the same time? Apparently about even money.

Square jawed, jug headed McDugle, who penned a book titled “Inside The Mind Of A Marine Drill Sergeant,” highlighting another of my revered non-sequiturs, has already proven in just his first term that he is a man of many convictions. For example, if he had punched out his colleague old Doc Ritze, as he threatened to do, he would have received one.

But my man McTough is so much more than just a bully of Social Security recipients. Besides a prolific writer of stuff no one will ever read, he claims to be: a John Maxwell certified speaker, coach and trainer; a Platinum Club member of Anthony Robbins; the pooh bah of Experience Experts; Men of Vision; Lawyer Marketing Services; Rolling Thunder; and in his spare time, an inventor.

Which explains all that other crap.

4. Representative George Faught (R), Muskogee

Another proponent of limited government, as long as he is a part of it, Faught has squandered his time and your money in and out of the capitol since 2006. Although a native Texan, George early on displayed his deep understanding of Oklahoma’s multi-cultural tribal history and heritage by introducing English Only as the official language. It was co-authored by then Representative and Bigot Writ Large Randy Terrill (R) Moore / Department of Corrections inmate Number 573XX4.

After that debacle, George turned his attention, and wrath, onto another group of already abused Okies – the victims of rape and incest. During just one of his many diatribes against legal abortion, Prophet Faught reassured the women that “God brings beauty out of ashes”.

Bet that made them sleep better… behind locked doors with an uzi under their pillow. Now that’s the kind of gun control I support.

5. Lewis Moore (R), Arcadia

Like his neighbor and only female member on my First String, Rep Tess Teague (R) Choctaw, Lewis also lives in eastern Oklahoma County – home of the original Pop’s, historic Highway 66 and obviously many other weird people besides T&L.

Take Lewis for example. No you take him. His website says he worships God, scouting and bicycling, but is against earthquakes. Natch. However he is really “passionate about the free enterprise system”.

Hmmm. Not me. I like it really costly, but I digress.

What House Chairman of the Insurance Committee “Big Lew”, an insurance peddler really, really means is he likes a ‘rigged’ enterprise system. Therefore, by writing the rules in the legislature for the industry that employs him, the outcome is preconceived and predictable just like drilling for oil and gas near Kingfisher may have something to do with earthquakes say, near Kingfisher.

Cal Hobson is a former state senator a famed TLO commenter.