Due an overwhelming vote of confidence, I feel the love of fellow Oglers and am honored to present five more Oklahoma House incumbents who do not deserve to be re-elected.
These clueless clowns are a bit down in the dumps because they weren’t selected during round one, so to assuage their hurt feelings, I am donating $4 each to their hopeless pursuit of another two-year term in office. If my math works, and it probably doesn’t because I was the Appropriations Committee Chair when I was in the legislature, $5 X $4 = $20, which is what Patrick promised me to pen this punditry. Feeling insulted by such a pittance after living off lobbyist largess for decades, I told him to spend it instead on pablum for Juniorette. With our tax code I’m sure I can deduct it anyway. Not the kid. The pablum.
1. Jeff “Fire At Will Or Anyone Else” Coody (R), Grandfield
“Stick Em Up” Jeff is the proud father, via the National Rifle Association’s latest wet dream, of something titled “The Oklahoma 2018 right to carry, concealed or otherwise, almost anywhere, anytime, any age, any IQ, except in the state capitol building” law. Brilliant. I guess it’s too dangerous already in The People’s Building populated by old white men dragging around colostomy bags. The last thing they need are guns. Thanks Jeff.
Therefore Oglers, do your duty
Don’t vote for Coody
But if you must, and then get mugged
Be thankful you weren’t also plugged.
Footnote: Under pressure from a bunch of rich, white chamber guys in OKC and Tulsa, Governor Fallin packed her pistol, pulled out her diamond encrusted B.C. Clark pen and vetoed the damn thing.
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2. Tom Gann (R), Inola
Tom prides himself on being a CPA. No not that kind, but a Certified Public A-Wad. To confirm for yourself, watch him on tape at a Tea Party dumb-off with Goober Candidate Gary Richardson and soon to be no longer Representative John Bennett. They make Sally Kern sound like Mother Teresa.
Because this green eye shade guy claims to be able to add and subtract, he was assigned to determine whether the State Health Department had stupidly, wantonly, purposefully and with malice afterthought, squandered $30-million of taxpayer cash. It turns out – they didn’t. They just hid it well. This went over Gann’s head and the legislature doled out $30-million more to the agency. Obvious conclusion – Tom doesn’t know shit from Inola.
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3. Kevin McDugle (R), Broken Arrow
By coincidence, living arrangements and elections, Broken Arrow is also home to made up purple heart recipient Dr Mike Ritze. With a community populated by super smart refugees from Tulsa, what are the odds of it sending both of these goofs down the Turner at the same time? Apparently about even money.
Square jawed, jug headed McDugle, who penned a book titled “Inside The Mind Of A Marine Drill Sergeant,” highlighting another of my revered non-sequiturs, has already proven in just his first term that he is a man of many convictions. For example, if he had punched out his colleague old Doc Ritze, as he threatened to do, he would have received one.
But my man McTough is so much more than just a bully of Social Security recipients. Besides a prolific writer of stuff no one will ever read, he claims to be: a John Maxwell certified speaker, coach and trainer; a Platinum Club member of Anthony Robbins; the pooh bah of Experience Experts; Men of Vision; Lawyer Marketing Services; Rolling Thunder; and in his spare time, an inventor.
Which explains all that other crap.
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4. Representative George Faught (R), Muskogee
Another proponent of limited government, as long as he is a part of it, Faught has squandered his time and your money in and out of the capitol since 2006. Although a native Texan, George early on displayed his deep understanding of Oklahoma’s multi-cultural tribal history and heritage by introducing English Only as the official language. It was co-authored by then Representative and Bigot Writ Large Randy Terrill (R) Moore / Department of Corrections inmate Number 573XX4.
After that debacle, George turned his attention, and wrath, onto another group of already abused Okies – the victims of rape and incest. During just one of his many diatribes against legal abortion, Prophet Faught reassured the women that “God brings beauty out of ashes”.
Bet that made them sleep better… behind locked doors with an uzi under their pillow. Now that’s the kind of gun control I support.
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5. Lewis Moore (R), Arcadia
Like his neighbor and only female member on my First String, Rep Tess Teague (R) Choctaw, Lewis also lives in eastern Oklahoma County – home of the original Pop’s, historic Highway 66 and obviously many other weird people besides T&L.
Take Lewis for example. No you take him. His website says he worships God, scouting and bicycling, but is against earthquakes. Natch. However he is really “passionate about the free enterprise system”.
Hmmm. Not me. I like it really costly, but I digress.
What House Chairman of the Insurance Committee “Big Lew”, an insurance peddler really, really means is he likes a ‘rigged’ enterprise system. Therefore, by writing the rules in the legislature for the industry that employs him, the outcome is preconceived and predictable just like drilling for oil and gas near Kingfisher may have something to do with earthquakes say, near Kingfisher.
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Cal Hobson is a former state senator a famed TLO commenter.
I vote against Lewis Moore whenever I can.
This list of undeserving electables are definitely B-teamers to the A team all-stars. Just a thought Cal… how about a list of those convicted felons and “decency violators” who would have run for re-election, had they not been ousted or resigned?
Because who cares about writing satire on people who AREN’T RUNNING?
That’s damn funny I don’t care who you are! LMAO
You remind me of that paper boy that couldn’t quite make the porch, but we tipped you anyway…
So these conservative, Christian GOPers are the “career politicians” that all the other career conservative Christians running for Governer, Lite Governer and all the other positions claim we need to throw out. If it wasn’t so horrrific it would be funny. Keep up the good fight Colonel!
Ironically the wording Todd Lamb uses regards going after “non-elected bureaucrats.” Apparently elected bureaucrats are a-okay in his book.
Once again I am dismayed that Todd Russ didn’t make the cut. I thought for sure that his SB 1050, which would have prevented school districts from automatically deducting union dues from teacher paychecks, would have made him a shoo in for the list. Teachers would have had to make other arrangements to pay their union dues and the bill would have required a majority of the educators in the district vote every 5 years to keep their bargaining unit!
Kevin McDugle might be the easiest person to trigger and troll on YouTube i’ve ever seen; you should see his channel.. the level of cringe worthy content is soo amazing.
Surely Cal, there is an equally good list of Senate goobers?
I know you’ve mentioned it before Cal, but you’ve got to keep reminding folks that term-limited loony Kevin Calvey is running for county commissioner in OK county. We should have sent a delegation to Ray Vaughn begging him not to retire. I like Ray; good guy, good lawyer and decent legislator and commissioner. And, I’m one of the few around who remembers when he was a TV sports guy.
Calvey is an honest-to-God moron. An absolute mouth breathing Neanderthal. But… he has an R next to his name, so we are stuck with him.
Thought he was a news guy at Channel 4 back when it was KTVY
One little correction here, but Randy Terrill’s DOC number is actually 719150… !~)
https://okoffender.doc.ok.gov
It’s now a former DOC number. Last I saw of Terrill he was a hotel lobby clerk in Moore.
McDugle claims to be a member of the Anthony Robbins Platinum Club? Seriously? Is that for real? Or are you joking?
No one should brag about that as a qualification for leadership. It would be like bragging about your diploma from Trump University.
Two sides of the aisle, and both have been highly ineffective. I still would like to see a list of 5 that deserves to be re-elected. It might be though to come up with that many.
While there might be 5 that should be re-elected, am thinking get rid of the lot and see what another group can do. Oklahoma tends to elect a single party, then there is a clean sweep and the other party gets elected and they become even more corrupt than the ones voted out. We probably would be better served by voting for individuals rather than the political affiliation of the the person running, as that is why you have some of the people who are in office now.
If the teacher walkout didn’t show the public just how out of touch much of our elected are, I don’t know what will ever show the public. A smaller government is one thing, but schools are one of those essential services, and no raises for a decade to teachers? Even with the raises many are still fleeing the state and getting even more of a raise. I know of a two teacher household who left Edmond schools for Texas and each will receive a 50% pay raise guaranteed versus the raise that the Legislature approved but has the possibility of it not being funded.
And don’t get me started on the clown show that the Republican Gubernatorial Primary race has become, it is almost as ridiculous as the Attorney Generals race where the Mary Fallin appointee registered lobbyist (who isn’t a lobbyist, but had to register as a lobbyist because he supervised lobbyists) wants to stay on a bunch more years as AG.
On second thought a group of real clowns could probably lead the state better that the non professional clowns on Lincoln Boulevard.
Collin Walke (D) should be on that list (not up for re-election yet, though).
Right on Cal. Your wit and wisdom is sorely missed so keep writing here and Patrick will keep the 20’s coming.
Comrades,
Thank you all for your helpful suggestions as I prepare one last listing of candidates for office in Oklahoma that should remain just that…… losing candidates not winners.
As demanded by thoughtful and thoughtless readers I will expand my search for silliness to senators, statewide wannabes and, on a rare positive note, reveal the name of a Republican that should have filed for governor, but didn’t………. and why.
Finally, because Patrick continues to stiff me on work already completed for TLO, I sent checks to my five First Team designees post dated to June 27th, the day after the primary, and payable ONLY if they win.
Therefore I’ll get all my money back and Patrick can put his where the sun don’t shine……in rolls of quarters.
I remain,
A Former Someone
Cal, Keep ’em coming! I would suggest a Top Twenty for the Oklahoma House and maybe a Top Ten for the Oklahoma Senate. Then there is always the Congress! This could be a whole new career.