6 hot Oklahoma-themed pool party ideas

Summer is essentially already here, and it's going to be a miserable one. This last May was the hottest one on records since 1895, and the next few months aren't looking much better. Aside from going to the mall or another place that keeps the air conditioning cranked way up, there aren't many ways to cool down that don't involve ruining your energy bills, or getting fat from all those Braum's double-dip cones.

But if you've got a swimming pool, you're in a whole 'nuther zone of cool-down. And if you have access to such a luxury, what better way to take advantage by sharing the wealth and inviting your friends over for a good ol' fashioned pool party? Here are 6 ways to make your summer swimdigs fun and local. (Note: this is mostly a cry for help, as I don't have any friends with pools, and I'm hoping to get invited to some sweet swimming action this summer. Above ground or below ground, I won't judge).

Denim party

What do you see when you go to the pool these days? Everybody is wearing fancy "bathing suits" like they're from California or something. Make your pool party truly red dirt by requiring a strict denim dress code. If shorts are to be worn, they must be cut high enough that the pockets are hanging out.

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Mary Fallin Hot Tub

You know who wants a cold pool? People who follow yesterday's trends. What's hot right now is literally very hot: we're talking about pool temperatures. The Fallin's are well-known trendsetters, so show them your respects and heat that pool up this summer! If you're not sweating when you're soaking, you're doing it wrong.

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Baby Draper

What's the most genuinely Okie way to swim? Why, in an honest-to-goodness man-made lake! This summer, be your own pioneer, and create your own man-made lake. There are many you can emulate, but I must insist that Draper is the best. All you need is a wheelbarrow of sod dumped into the water and mixed until it becomes a diarrhea soup. Garnish with a floating mattress, and park a creepy old van nearby.

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Teacher party

This is the most depressing possible party to throw, but sometime you ain't want a cure for the summertime blues. Pretend like you're the state and all your guests are our educators. Everyone has to bring their own supplies- suntan lotion, towels, hot dogs, charcoal for the grill. Do not provide anything. Make your guests bring an inflatable pool to put inside your drained in-ground pool. You know the party is a success when everybody leaves to go to a party somewhere else.

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Make  your pool a deep-fryer

Okies love to barbecue, but we love fried foods even better. Instead of firing up the propane and propane accessories, this summer it's time to convert your swimming pool into a massive FryDaddy. Sure, it's going to require installation of some heavy duty heating elements, as well as an onsite grease trap. And hundreds of of gallons of peanut oil does not come cheap. But you've got a pool, so you're probably rich, right?

Invite all the friends over, have them bring their favorite breaded vegetables, mozzarella sticks, or candy bars for desert. Just remember that this is the kind of pool party where nobody is allowed to swim.

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Lil' White Water Bay

White Water Bay is really fun in theory, but there's so many goddamn people out there that it makes it more annoying than anything. Why not bring the Bay home? Just pour a bunch of extra chlorine into the water and blast KJ103 from a loudspeaker, and you've got a start. You can get a Lazy River going pretty easy if you've got an above-ground pool and five or six people running in circles. As for the slides, that's a build at your own risk kinda thing, but a homemade Big Kahuna would be lit.