Being that Oklahoma has the highest divorce rate of any state in ‘Merica, marital bliss and being an Oklahoman are generally thought to be mutually exclusive. However, it may take longer than you’d think for Oklahomans to become irritated with that stupid clanking sound of their spouse’s spoon hitting their teeth when they eat cereal. A recent survey found that Oklahomans actually take longer to start resenting each other in marriages than the average American.
A recent survey revealed that couples in Oklahoma experience some of the longest honeymoon periods in the U.S.
A survey of 3,000 Americans, conducted by Mattress Clarity, says that Oklahoma couples experience honeymoon periods of about nine months, which is well-above the national average. Alaska couples’ 11.5-month honeymoon period is the longest in the country, and Rhode Island has the shortest period — 2.8 months.
Mattress Clarity seems like a reputable enough name to report data. I am sure the peer review process of the average Mattress Clarity report involves some intern named Mack having his girlfriend read it for typos before he sends it to his manager. Still, nine months is a long time to enjoy a honeymoon. In fact, it’s just enough time to push couples out of the annulment period.
Oklahoma ranks higher than all of its surrounding states, with Texas couples’ honeymoon period lasting an average of about 7.2 months.
The study found that 36 percent of couples said the honeymoon period ends when they start going to bed at different hours, and Americans get 30 minutes less sleep when sharing a bed with a new partner.
That makes sense. Going to bed at different times because one of you just bought the new World of Warcraft expansion probably means couples have fewer opportunities to be intimate with each other and thus have less satisfaction. Other signs that the honeymoon period is over includes:
- No longer apologizing after farts.
- Defining “spending time together” as sitting on the same piece of furniture while scrolling through your respective twitter feeds.
- Showering together not because it’s fun, but because you both are late for something.
- Having designated “looks” that tell the other when they’ve effed up without saying a word.
- Choosing to do the dishes not because you want to be sweet, but because you want to avoid a 3-hour argument that ends with one of you calling their mom.
- When it’s no longer weird to call the other your spouse.
But just because you’re out of the honeymoon period, it doesn’t mean you can’t be happy with each other. Unless you have a shared Facebook account. Then we can all pretty much guess ya’ll ain’t that happy.
Hayley has had 3 years of marital bliss. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek