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Jennifer Garner is an Oklahoman now…

10:41 AM EDT on July 17, 2018

I guess we know why Sloan was recently spotted meeting with the Pioneer Woman and other Syndicate spies at The Mercantile!

Yesterday afternoon, I stumbled across this weird little news nugget on Twitter. According to CBS Sunday – a show you watch because you're either too old, too hungover or have too many kids to sleep – Capital One spokesperson Jennifer Garner has opened up her wallet and bought her mom's farm in Locust Grove. It's a stone's throw to the east of Tulsa and due south of Hoot Owl and Pump Back.

Via CBS:

You won't find any paparazzi out in Locust Grove, Okla., just east of Tulsa, where Garner recently purchased the farm her mother, Pat, grew up on, and where her Uncle Robert still lives.

With her uncle's help, Garner is turning the old family farm into a site to grow produce for Once Upon a Farm, the organic fresh baby food company she recently co-founded.  Here they'll be raising blueberries, kale and persimmons. "Persimmons are native to here. They do real well here," Uncle Robert said....

Jennifer Garner bought a farm in Oklahoma to grow stuff for "organic fresh baby food?" Isn't that a bit too weird hippy liberal for this part of the heartland? Expect the Oklahoma legislature to take up this issue in May, or at the very least, pass a law that prevents Ben Affleck from ever visiting.

Here's more:

When asked why it was important for her to have it on this farm, Garner replied, "First of all, if I had had any idea how happy it would make my mom to be part of bringing this little farm back to life, I would have done it ten times over. But your family just has a connection to the land that has raised them. I wanted the business to be connected to my family."

That's really sweet! We'd like to give Jennifer Garner a big happy welcome to Oklahoma. She's going to love it here. We don't have a lot of celebrities – or organic baby food farms for that matter – so we're going to do our best to gobble her up and call her our own. Just ask Gwen Stefani, Miranda Lambert or even Trisha Yearwood – it's what this state excels at. You're an Oklahoman for life now.

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