Monday Morning Tweets

Howdy, pardners! Whenever it’s the dead of winter, people always say, “Ugh, I can’t wait for the summer. Even if it was super hot, that would be better than this.” I truly hope those people are enjoying themselves, because the rest of us wanted to die last weekend. It was too hot to do literally anything. Even Twitter was pretty quiet, save for a few blurbs complaining about the weather.

We do have some good new to report. Hideaway Pizza opens their fancy new location on N. Western in OKC on Wednesday. The first 57 adults in line for opening will receive a goody bag loaded with Hideaway swag, including a $57 Hideaway gift card. ONE of those lucky 57 will have $600 (free pizza for a year!) gift card! They’ll also be giving away a bunch of door prizes. You know where we are going to be on Wednesday.

Now to the tweets!

#OKWX

Bad gubernatorial photos

The crop job on this picture is baffling. I don’t care what a boot pocket it, but am very curious where you want me to stick it.

If you were going for poorly-framed and out of focus, ya nailed it.

#788

From the “Angry Hippie” files:

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor

One thing we forget to mention in the intro is that the new Western location will giveaway free hotbags to the first 200 phone or online orders that include two or more pizzas. That way the pizzas will stay hot, or in my case, the tub of ranch will stay cold.

NewsOK doesn’t like to credit sources

Say what you will about TLO, we at least link to the stories that we let real journalists write for us.

Eating in OK

I don’t think I’ve been to Ednas in more than a decade, so I had no idea they’ve added all these new and colorful ways to make yourself sick.

I’m kinda shocked that more places around here don’t straight up give you gravy with your fried chicken. The first place that comes out with ranch gravy will get rich quick.

Even if it was free there is absolutely no way in hell I’m eating anything that is sitting on those rollers at a gas station.

My anaconda don’t want none

In case you were wondering, there absolutely is a 7-11 at that intersection.

Steven’s Sports Beat

The former Poke who wore orange on Sunday to honor his beloved oSu needs to stop taking cues from the football team. Sure, golf isn’t a team sport, but coffee is for closers and Stillwater should be a cappuccino-free city. The sting of being so close to hoisting a major trophy was still fresh, so the kid had the right to be upset about the article. Besides, the only thing people want to hear about is how close Tiger was to number 15.

The correlation between high school prospects rankings and productivity in college are wide and varying, but isn’t it exciting? The shotgun approach to Coach Riley offering everyone a scholarship is paying off thus far.

Congratulations are in order to Jeffery Carroll who is walking into a World Championship with the LA Lakers. I mean, King James should be able to provide at least one title so long as the starting line-up of the Golden State Warriors get trapped in a cave for the next four seasons.

As long as they don’t win a title, I’d be tickled if Houston turned into The Island of Misfit Thunders.

Everyone will have their own interpretation of what Coach Gundy is saying, but here’s what I heard: “Buzzword, excuses, lather, rinse, and repeat.”

Big congrats to Baylee, Kaileigh, Jenae, Kelsei, and Jaymeigh.

Best softball swing and a miss EVER! (-Steven)

Under the Radar

I’m guessing it was the Weed Jesus guy from the rally.

Dear God, Abigail Ogle is going to rule the world some day…

Congrats Abby and good luck, Paul!

Dean Blevins Memorial Tweet of the Week

I thought Dean was going to have a 500 tweets about Tiger Woods, but there were only a couple and they kind of made sense: