Howdy, pardners! We’re just a week away from the NFL season finally opening up, which means it’s also fantasy draft week crunchtime. I’m in a league with Patrick and TLO Trivia Host Sam. Every other year, I try to read up a bunch of articles and do a dozen mock drafts so I can feel like I’m super prepared and ready to take on the world. I didn’t do any of that this year though, because I know by now that the guy who auto-drafts and only sets his line-up every other week will somehow magically win in the end anyways, because that’s what always happens.
Sam Anderson’s new book about Oklahoma City came out last week, and he came to town to promote it. Everyone on my Twitter feed was geeking out about it, but I’m incapable of reading more than 280 characters at a time, so unless it gets tweeted out I may never read it.
The book I’ve been writing and obsessively revising for five years finally comes out today. Deep thanks to the many people who helped, and to those who will take the time to read it. I am grateful.https://t.co/nmkm3zCvJe pic.twitter.com/BKHqzOPPHS
— Sam Anderson (@shamblanderson) August 21, 2018
— Paul Monies (@pmonies) August 23, 2018
— Mayor David Holt (@davidfholt) August 24, 2018
Here are my first takes on #Boomtown. Oklahomans will learn nothing from the work, but the story triumphs in its retelling.
— Judie ᎦᏄᎸ (@JudieGanul) August 23, 2018
Is it a great state or what?
I'm really loving all these, 'Did you think Oklahoma was a hot pile of garbage next to an abandon convenient store housing a meth lab? So did we! Turns out Oklahoma is kinda cool.' articles.
love you too.
— Bridget Trowbridge (@BiteElephants) August 24, 2018
Every time I read something in which some coastal elite says they weren’t sure where Oklahoma is before visiting, I just think, “Somebody didn’t pay attention in grade school because I don’t struggle to know where *all 50* states are. What a dummy.”
— Jame Corley 👻 (@monkbernardo) August 25, 2018
— Luke Atkinson (@imlukea) August 23, 2018
Okay let’s slow down here
God Shot In NW OKC
— The Lost Ogle (@TheLostOgle) August 25, 2018
And Now A Word From Our Sponsor
Lunch today? Be there or be square. pic.twitter.com/5FbnngLkMf
— Hideaway Pizza🍕 (@hideawaypizza) August 23, 2018
The fried mushroom / mozzarella stick combo has always been my go-to app order at Hideaway. Base on that tweet, I may have to toss fried ravioli into the mix.
Which Google auto-reply should we use for this fine piece of hate mail? pic.twitter.com/2Mv4pf0wt7
— The Lost Ogle (@TheLostOgle) August 26, 2018
I went with “Thanks, I’ll check them out.”
As of noon, we have received 569 patient, 2 caregiver, 122 dispensary, 194 grower and 42 processor applications
— Oklahoma Medical Marijuana Authority (@OMMAOK) August 25, 2018
The green rush is on, so it’s time to get that application in.
Welcome, new members!
Associates: @CanTekLabs, @MidDel_Tech, @1577pro, @SafetySkills and @WorldWaterWorks
Emerging Leader: The Growth Coach Oklahoma City
Advisors: Paladin Land Group, @SupermercadoMor, @UofOklahomaLaw and Walmart Neighborhood Market 2877https://t.co/73gQGihdea pic.twitter.com/ztiXJSmWAM
— Greater OKC Chamber (@okcchamber) August 25, 2018
There’s also a CBD producer in the OKC Chamber of Commerce – the organization that led the fight to defeat SQ 788 – and I have no idea what is happening in this state anymore.
We still don’t know how to drive
Here we go again. White line tragedy. 20 cars and people waiting for someone to finish lunch. pic.twitter.com/QOOVPRLqH6
— Tim Johnson (@tjohnsonjaokc) August 24, 2018
Can’t wait for this to be something that happens 40 times a day when people from Shawnee drive up to Bricktown and continue to street park their massive pick-up trucks the same way that they do at the Walls Bargain Center parking lot.
There have been 2 serious Bird Scooter injuries in Bricktown recently. Y’all be careful out there! pic.twitter.com/sApgzeNfWc
— HOT DOG OKC (@HotDogOKC) August 24, 2018
And if we can’t trust ourselves to drive cars, these scooters are a menace to all.
Eating in Oklahoma
I present to you the most Oklahoma thing you’ll see today: a fast food restaurant that doesn’t serve alcohol winning “best happy hour.” pic.twitter.com/Jyf0PJrWvS
— Marisa Mohi ☕️ (@theMarisaMohi) August 26, 2018
It would be nice if bars could legally offer cheaper drinks, but until then, we gotta settle for half-price slushes when we’re thirsty in the late afternoon.
“What’s it like living in Oklahoma?” pic.twitter.com/a4XzFEyOXk
— Eric Reeves (@EricReeves11) August 22, 2018
It’s a little known law that every restaurant in the state must offer plastic trophy cups.
— barrelsandmash (@barrelsandmash) August 23, 2018
I’ve had the regular hot chicken at Oak & Ore, and as a heat seeker, it was still enough to make me cry delicious, spicy tears. These are some brave gentlemen.
Oklahoma restaurants sure are afraid of playing deep cuts.
— Edgin' Bono (@wampusreynolds) August 20, 2018
We’re the reason why The Eagles are still a thing.
WHAT THE FUCK WHEN DID SPAGHETTI WAREHOUSE CLOSE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!
— 🙌🏾 (@_CampbellNoSoup) August 23, 2018
The words of a man whose parking job will definitely be blocking the street car.
— Lacey Swope (@LaceySwope) August 23, 2018
Obviously, Swope had to sneak in that ‘archery season’ info.
Just a friendly reminder to you all. Tarantula mating season begins next week pic.twitter.com/A4vB7zB7hp
— Damon Lane (@KOCOdamonlane) August 25, 2018
Damon Lane here with the bug sex content that we’re all here for
Steven’s Sports Beat
Blake Griffin donated millions to open up a new basketball training center at OU, which was dedicated this last weekend. For an Oklahoman, I feel like a lot of our basketball fans still talk a lot of smack about his style of play. Love him or hate him, this is still a very cool thing for him to do.
Officially declared "Blake Griffin Day" in Norman: pic.twitter.com/oHdkzSX1Ee
— Bob Przybylo (@BPrzybylo) August 25, 2018
Here's a pretty funny moment during the opening of the Griffin Family Performance Center between @ana_llanusa & @blakegriffin23 – "I'm still playing. I'm not that old!" 😂 #Sooners pic.twitter.com/rqJvEQsUjN
— Nate Feken (@TheGreat_Nate) August 26, 2018
Mayor of Norman proclaims today is Blake Griffin Day.
— Brady Trantham (@BradyDoesSports) August 25, 2018
— OSN (@oksportsnet) August 24, 2018
If this signals the start of high school football, this means that college football is only a few days away. Poke fans only have to wait until Thursday because all the big time schools play on weekday nights. The Sooners get to play at 11AM at home against the Daniel Tosh doppelganger and much beloved Lane Kiffen.
— C&C Machine – Oklahoma SB Nation (@CCMachine) August 21, 2018
It also feels more like a reverse “If you can’t beat, them join them.” If Gibbs was an amazing coach, he would not have lost his job to old Coach “Rednose” Schnellenberger. It could be worse, after all- the Stadium of the Sooner’s real rival could be named after a Sooner.
— ENDUI Oklahoma (@enduiok) August 25, 2018
Let’s hope this promotion is just a coincidence after offering $2 beer night at the stadium on Thursday nights.
Baker Mayfield doing a stupid photoshoot will make some people angry, and that makes me like him more. pic.twitter.com/Z82va69RKf
— Boys & Gurleys In America (@CTowersCBS) August 21, 2018
Judging by the cover, Baker’s new mixtape is gonna be straight FIRE
Saturday’s 50/50 raffle starts at $1,000 and benefits @C4Kokc! Last year, C4K helped over 6,500 kids in need! By participating in the raffle, we can help get even more of Oklahoma’s youth involved in sports!
— Energy FC (@EnergyFC) August 22, 2018
Ok, since we’re trying to be helpful this is a great organization with a great mission. Yes, there are a lot of great groups out there, but this one is giving away over $1,900 and growing at the end of September. Who knows how much it could grow to in another month. GO ENERGY! (-Steven)
Under the Radar
Heard on the scanner: "It's a Dollar General, how long can you stay there? It's not Wal-Mart."
— Robert Moose (@RobertMoose) August 26, 2018
Sometimes, the deals can be so incredible that it’s bewildering
Dear God, Abigail Ogle is going to rule the world someday…
It’s NATIONAL DOG DAY… let me introduce you!🐾
💙Cru- Ornery, energetic, funny, and loyal. He keeps us on our toes! My FURST born!
💗Chloe- Sweet, tiny, girly, and happy. We adopted her this year. She was underweight, sick, with leather ear. She’s improved drastically!🙌🏼 pic.twitter.com/bBGCNlE9kW
— Abigail Ogle (@KOCOAbigail) August 27, 2018
Improved drastically? That’s a drastic word to use when describing improvement made by a dog. I’d go with dramatically.
Dean Blevins Memorial Tweet of the Week featuring Dean Blevins
Tiger ‘s shaft change & controlled swing w the big stick put him in all but 1 fairway w driver Saturday en route to his first bogey-free round of 2018 w a -3 68. Atrocious putting again kept him from going really low. Big picture – successful wk if driver figured out. @news9
— Dean Blevins (@DeanBlevins) August 25, 2018
Gave Dean credit. Outside of a few thousand porn stars, he knows more about Tiger’s shaft than anyone.