Over the last week, grocery and convenience stores across the state have been selling out of their usual stock of beer in what has been dubbed by social media as the #BeerDrought2018. What’s making matters worse is that Walmart and other shops began stocking their new wine and beer aisles weeks ago, leaving the average Oklahoman to feel like they are under 21 again because though we see the booze, we haven’t been legally allowed to buy it. But that has all changed as of today! Since Oklahomans are hyped to buy the new higher point beers, what do we do with all of that Bud Light sitting in the vegetable crisper? Here are 7 things to do with the rest of your low point beer!
Water your plants
With rich hues of bronze and oranges, mums are the perfect flower to plant in the pots around your porch this October to fill your home with warm reminders of Fall. So pop the tops of the last 7/12ths of that pack of Bud Light and pour them into your flower pots to nourish your plants. Because everyone knows that Bud Light is basically water.
Make a bobber
If you’ve never been 2 hours and 8 beers into a lake day then you’ve probably never learned that when your ice chest tips over into the water due to alcohol inhibited coordination, certain beers, like Coors Light, will float while others will sink. Now that you have this priceless information, you can use the last couple of cans of Coors Light as bobbers during your next fishing expedition. The fish won’t be conditioned to fear cans and it saves room in your cooler for a 6-pack of Ogletoberfest.
Allrecipes has a great beer bread recipe that is a hearty addition to any Fall meal. Use the rest of your 3.2 beers in the fridge to make it. I would assure families that the alcohol cooks out of the bread as you bake it, but there’s not enough alcohol in low point beer to matter anyway.
A fun thing craft beer enthusiasts love to do is buy limited edition brews and age them for years at a time, thus altering the flavor profiles you get from the beer. And technically, we can consider all low point beers in our state limited edition at this time. So why not use this opportunity to age the rest of your Keystone stash? Who knows? The beer that tastes like a skunk-flavored La Croix may actually age into something palatable.
Drink the rest and complain
The recent changes in beer sales mean lots and lots of new and fun things to complain about. This includes, but is not limited to, higher prices of booze, higher point beers having a different taste than the low points you know and love, and your ability to shot gun 6 consecutive beers being cut in half due to a lower tolerance for alcohol than you’d like to brag about.
Decorate with them
Now, generally I would say that if you line your kitchen cabinets with recently emptied beer cans, you’re probably living off of student loans and 24.99% interest credit cards with 4 to 5 roommates. However, cans of low point beers are soon to be considered a relic in our great state. And everyone knows if the bottles and cans you decorate with are old, the decoration is considered more “rustic” than “your aunt and I divorced back in 1997.”
Every Oklahoman’s first beer was more than likely a low point, so take time today to celebrate the booze that started it all. What better way to do that than by posting on Instagram a picture of you enjoying your last 3-point paired with couple of throwback photos of your underage drinking days when you could get a buzz off of a couple of Natty Lights you bummed off the juniors.
Hayley’s first beer was Bud Light. She makes her daddy proud. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek