Happy Friday, my fellow Oklahomans! It is October 12, which means it is the last day to register to vote in our state if you want to cast your ballot in the November 6 election. With only a few hours left before the County Election Boards begin to close, there really isn’t a point to expending the effort needed to fill out that 1 page voter registration form. So here are 5 reasons you shouldn’t register to vote today.
There are other ways to change government
There are plenty of other ways to get elected officials to listen to you. For example, have you tried sharing political memes on Facebook? That’s always productive and world-changing.
There’s no room in your wallet
You already have three partially filled punch cards from Thai Delight taking up space in your wallet. What makes you think you have room for the voter ID card you will use once every four years?
Your vote doesn’t matter
One vote won’t change anything anyway, so why even bother registering for a voter ID card? And make sure to tell all of your friends about your flawless logic so they’ll be as #woke as you. Because if you convince enough people around you that registering to vote is stupid, you’ll really prove to your friends (and government officials) that average people don’t have the power to change anything in government.
You’re probably already registered in your hometown
Many of you probably got extra credit in your high school government class by registering to vote. Many of you have also probably decided that your hometown is where hopes and dreams go to die, so since registering you’ve moved away for college, love, or to finally have a Target nearby. So, if you’re still registered to vote at the First Baptist Church on Main Street in your hometown, just tell yourself that you’ll either drive down on election day or fax an absentee voter form over a couple of days before the election. Then make sure to tell yourself on Election Day that it’s not worth the hassle to drive back to Watonga on a Tuesday night just to vote.
You’ve cut too much time at work this week
The Oklahoma County election board is only open until 5:00 today and your boss hates it when you cut time on Fridays. Plus, who wants to spend their lunch break dropping off a voter registration form when you could spend an hour watching YouTube videos about conspiracy theories while eating Nutri-Grain Bars? Come on, get your priorities straight.