Sometimes I think people do things in this town just so we can write about them.
We have learned that News 9 Severe Weather Babe Cassie Heiter is dating jet-setting, trust fund inheriting, drunk driving Dippin’ Dots CEO Scott Fischer. We know this thanks to Instagram posts like this…
Jesus Christ. What’s the douchiest part of this photo? Is it the ridiculous pose, the pumpkin spice latte or bragging about the “spontaneous trip” weekend getaway that your parents’ wealth afforded you? I’m going to say none of the three and go with the shoes. Or the fact that he uses “CEO” in his Instagram username. It’s a tough call. You’d have an easier time picking your favorite Dippin’ Dots flavor.
Obviously, Cassie is giddy and a bit awe-struck by this fairy tale situation. In just a few of years, she’s gone from a chipmunky weather producer via Quad Cities to a red-hot, multi-millionaire dating weather babe. According to her Instagram, the two first met at some event back in August:
Well, apparently Scott did know how cool having your parents buy Dippin’ Dots and name you CEO is to Cassie, because a couple of months later, the couple was taking a jet down to Dallas for OU / Texas:
In all fairness, we all look possessed when we see dollar signs flashing in our eyes.
Does Instagram have an edit feature? It looks like Cassie had an auto-correct typo and accidentally wrote “people” instead of “plastic.”
There’s a lot of reasons the common-folk are resentful and jealous of the 1%. One of the biggest is that people with inherited wealth and money usually don’t have to suffer consequences or accept responsibility for their mistakes. For example, when most people get arrested for a DUI, they usually have to deplete their savings or go into debt to pay for legal costs and attorney fees. The last thing they can afford to do is take the private jet to Texas for a fun weekend of sports, drinks and shopping with their weather babe girlfriend. I guess that’s why all of us want to be rich, huh?
Here are a few more photos:
That’s a funny caption. Just like with Pete Davidson, it’s nice that Cassie has a light-hearted, self-deprecating view of this fairy tale. It will make it easier to deal with things when (or if) the clock strikes midnight.
It’s funny how access to a private jet and an unlimited supply of ice cream from the future can make someone handsome.
All snark aside, we’d like to congratulate Cassie on this score. If only her nihilistic trainer would let her eat Dippin’ Dots, this would be the ultimate dream come true. I guess we should also congratulate Scott. He’s proof that even following a bitter divorce and embarrassing DUI, you can still have fun and enjoy the good life if you have the right parents. Plus, he now even has someone to blow his breathalyzer. Must be nice!