TLO Weekend News Recap

Howdy, pardners! After a weekend of cold, wet weather, I think we can officially say that autumn is here, and it is worse than anyone of us wanted. You expected to put on a cozy sweater, rake the leaves, and sit next to the fire pit with a glass of wine like Mr. Autumn Man? HA! The weather laughs at you. Maybe enough of us finally got blocked by Gary England on Twitter that the scales of the weather god have tipped against us. Anyways, while you were inside binging TV all weekend, you probably missed the news, so here’s some of the top local stories from social media:

Paul’s Valley hospital is closed

This is going to be a tragic situation for a lot of people. Rural hospitals serve many communities that may not have another hospital nearby for hours. This hospital even tried a GoFundMe, but that wasn’t enough to save it.

But how could such a thing have happened?

Oh yeah, Mary Fallin blocked Medicaid expansion, leaving behind billions of dollars for healthcare that state citizens are paying for anyways. I think it was to prove a point about Obama or something? Either way, if people can’t afford to seek treatment, especially prideful Oklahomans in the rural areas, they’re going to avoid visiting the hospital, therefore denying income to the hospital. Our whole country’s medical system is screwed, but it may get even worse here.

Clown Car Stolen

The suspects are 30 thieves with large red noses.

The Horn Seed building caught on fire

Another day, another historic building bites the dust in OKC. Okay, maybe it’s still salvageable, but this is not a good sign for a structure that has been empty for quite some time now, and is just weird and specialized enough that made it difficult to find a tenant. My completely ridiculous conspiracy theory, as with the Founders Bank, involves the nefarious Braum’s. Bloodthirsty for ancient architecture, and eager to build another plastic hamburger building, they struck right across the street from their previous target, the HiLo. To be clear, I don’t believe that’s what actually happened, but when a Braum’s opens up on Classen and Expressway, I wouldn’t be too shocked.

Kevin Stitt is getting new endorsements

As we mentioned on Friday, Republican gubernatorial candidate Bull Stitt has been getting a lot of love from his party lately, in a not-so-shocking turn of events:

First, Mary Fallin put out her endorsement, which Stitt wants to distance himself for some reason. All of their policies seem to be pretty damn similar, but he views Fallin as a failure, which is surprising given that he doesn’t vote or seem to actually follow politics, as he’s been too busy running a business:

Next, his former opponent jumped on the Stitt Train:

Not that it was a particularly nasty race, and as it turns out, Cornett is much more aligned with Stitt than many of us thought at the beginning of the race, but there’s still just something gross about this. If only Stitt would have said bad things about Cornett’s wife, or alluded that he was the Zodiac Killer, this would be juicier.

But wait, there’s more- even the veep is getting in on the action:

This is probably the least effective and most polarizing of all his endorsements. But there’s gotta be a massive chunk of Stitt’s base that were also Trump voters, so this won’t deter them. Stay tuned for the Oklahoman to throw their hat into the ring.

The First Marijuana Seedlings Are for Sale

This dog is a snitch

Man’s best friend, my ass. How you gonna raise a dog the wrong way like this where that pup is just gonna snitch on you? This dude probably deserves to be in jail if he’s so awful that even his own pet would turn him in to the 5-0. Hopefully, that doggo can find a warm new home of people that he’d never tattle on.

We found Leatherface

Well, this is pretty creepy. Why on earth would you want to drive around with in a truck with a bunch of rotting deer heads in the back, unless you are actually aspiring to become a character in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre? I’m curious what the actual charges against him are, since, as far as I know, it’s not illegal to simply be a creep.