Last night, Vice President Mike Pence made a stop in Tulsa, America to campaign for gubernatorial candidate Kevin Stitt, a man who apparently doesn’t believe in the benefits of vaccinations or a good eyebrow waxing.
During the speech, Pence made sure to let voters know who he thinks will make the best Oklahoma governor. Here are 6 interesting observations we during Pence’s endorsement speech for Kevin Stitt.
1. Pence has an interesting taste in music
Someone thought it would be a great idea to introduce Mike Pence to the campaign rally stage with a Free song. Seeing the vanilla wafer of man we call our vice-president sashay across the stage to the tune of “All Right Now” is like Hulk Hogan choosing a K-Pop song as his walkout jam before a match. Then again, “All Right Now” is about having a one night stand and the GOP has really screwed Oklahomans over the last 8 years, so maybe it is fitting after all.
2. Kevin Stitt is the Oklahoma Donald Trump
From business practices to being a political outsider, Mike Pence wasted no breath in describing why he thinks Kevin Stitt is the Oklahoma version of Donald Trump. In fact, Pence stated that the Trump administration’s policies and actions are foreshadowing the work Stitt will do for Oklahoma. I hope this means Stitt gets in a twitter war with the governor of Texas, because I have to crank out some TLO articles.
3. Pence needs better stage makeup
As someone who’s been in her fair share of community theater shows, I can tell you first hand the benefit of stage makeup. Whoever touched up Pence before the rally blended his makeup a little too much because you can’t even see his facial expressions. How is the audience supposed to know he means serious business with China if we can’t even see the seriousness in his eyebrows? Next time he stops in Oklahoma to campaign he should call up one of the gals from The Boom’s Saturday drag shows. Ms. Carmen can teach Pence how to contour before he goes on stage so he can actually look like a human being with human emotions rather than a thumb.
4. The Trump Administration has impacted farmers
Pence made sure to let the crowd know that Trump has taken trade actions that have impacted Oklahoma farmers, which is technically true. However, he left out the fact that the impact is more negative because Trump’s actions have fueled a trade war that have led other countries to increase tariffs on American agricultural products such as beef and soy. But that point wouldn’t hype up the crowd as much.
5. Pence thinks politics are too divisive
Pence sure complained a lot about America being so divided across party lines after spending a solid 3 minutes basically complaining that democrats are nothing but a bunch of socialism-loving liberals who sold their souls to Hillary Clinton in exchange for open borders.
6. Pence wants you to vote
Pence ended his speech with a call to Oklahomans to go vote on November 6th. After hearing Pence’s endorsement for Kevin Stitt, I’ll make sure to do that.
Seriously, vaccines and eyebrow waxings are blessings. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek